Perhaps with a title like that I should save this for Independence Day but, I've had this blog post rattling around in my head for some time now. I realized this morning after having a vivid dream about this topic that it was time to get it out of there and onto here. Here is my warning to you...reading this is likely to make you very uncomfortable. I am going to to do my very best to leave it raw, to try not to censor the importance out of it but it is going to be very hard for me not to fine tune it and fine tune it until it says exactly what I want it to say. I am also going to step on some toes. I will not name names but you will know who you are, whether I know you or not, you will find yourself here somewhere. Since my youngest daughter was about two she liked to throw around the word "awkward" at the most appropriate times. Then she got in the habit of saying "that was the first awkward of the day!" It made us laugh (on the inside and out loud) to hear her small voice declare what everyone around her was thinking. Now we use her line all the time. This subject is definitely "awkward" and believe me it is early here so it is the first one of the day. Let me start at the beginning.
I am a church planter's wife (well, that IS awkward!). Which also makes me a church planter myself. Not too many people can say that. It is an interesting profession/calling. In some circles, I might as well have said I am a prostitute...that is the kind of reaction that some people have. I tell you that before we head back to the beginning because I think that it is important to note where I have come when returning to the start. I have long known that there are two kinds of people, those who appear to be very comfortable in their skin, and those who are clearly not. There might be a third kind in that I believe that there are a few people who are very comfortable being exactly who they are, but the rest of us fall somewhere on the spectrum of trying or failing to be comfortable with ourselves. For most of my life in my opinion I have been trying but many times failing. Along with this, comes comparison. It is human nature and a very fine skill to compare two things and choose one that is "better". For instance, take two apples, one is smaller but a deep, inviting red. It is shiny and it has a crisp look to it. The other may be bigger but it is sort of dull and not very red. It may even have a worm hole in the side and just doesn't appear very crunchy. Which one do you really want to take a bite of? Comparison, it's a good thing. Or let's just get down and dirty. There are two pieces of chocolate cake. One is nearly as big as the plate it sits upon, the other a thin sliver begging to be called a piece. The big one has a load of thick, sweet frosting on top, the other looks like it has been licked clean by a happy five year old. It's a no brainer, when given a choice we choose the "better" one. Comparison is an important skill to learn, but many times we tend to over use it and use it against ourselves. This happens everyday in every circle of relationship in our lives. We make a million comparisons every day.
As a small child, I found myself comparing the concept of who I was to just about everyone and found me never really measuring up. I have always been a thinker and someone who watches and learns quickly and like most kids who aren't the "cool" or "popular" kid I compared myself to, I tended to avoid sitations where I might be forced to interact with "them". Let's face it, things don't really change all that much after people become adults. We are still constantly comparing and constantly trying not only to feel good about who we are but also to appear that we do to others. Conditioning from early in life has told us that it is "better" to fit in and to appear to be comfortable than to stand out and look awkward. This is especially important during those turbulant teen years when "awkward" is a way of life for everyone, but some people pull it off better than others. I did a mediocre job at best. Looking back, I'd say I barely scraped by. Some of this had to do with my "lot in life", who I was because of my family or who else I associated with, but some of it was because I just never really REALLY ever felt like I fit in to any circle. I was just different. Yes, I had friends and some of them were even awesome, talented, funny people. But, in my very core, I knew that I was different in ways that I can't describe. It didn't change once I entered adulthood. Sometimes my choices made me the odd one out and sometimes circumstances chose for me. (And when I did fit it was because I was making some really bad choices but that is another post for another day.) Either way, in most circles and in most situations, I don't fit. This is not a pity party. It is simply what I know to be true about myself.
The next part of this is going to sound strange to many people who read it and believe me it is not meant to be arrogant or self serving or to freak anyone out. I believe that God made me different for a reason, in fact He told me so. ("Oh my gosh, she just said that God has been talking to her." Yeah, He did and does sometimes and I crave those moments, more than shiny apples or chocolate cake.) It was on a day that I was struggling with our next step in ministry and He said loud and clear to me "THIS is what I made you for." The reason He made me different is to prepare me for what I am doing now. He made me uncomfortable in my life circumstances so that I would lean only on what I know to be true about myself and about Him. The reason He made me uncomfortable with who I am, is so He can change me into who He wants me to be. He did all this because He has a bigger plan for my life. He did all of this because He wants to use me right now. Being a pastor's wife is many times a challenge. It can be lonely. It can be frustrating. It can be many things awkward and uncomfortable. Being a Church Planter's wife just kicks it up a notch and screams "YOU DO NOT FIT!" If I hadn't felt that way all my life, if God hadn't been preparing me, that might be really hard. Instead, it feels really right. I feel comfortable with it, maybe for the first time in my life, it is okay to not fit.
"Why are you even writing about this? It is a little creepy and wierd." Definitely awkward. It's because I don't think I'm the only one. Maybe it is you. Maybe you just don't fit for a reason. I also don't think you have to be married to a pastor or a church planter to be different and used by God. I think that He wants to use all your life experiences in the past "For The Greater Good" (to quote the Incredibles). He wants to use you to impact your world and to bring glory to Himself. He wants you to FIT WITH HIM. It really doesn't matter about all the other circles in your life, He wants you in His circle and He wants you to infect the circles in your life where you have a voice and an influence. No matter how much you want to, you can't avoid interacting with the "cool" kids anymore and you can't run from situations where you don't fit. He wants you (and me) to invade them and shake people up and stand out for Him. The people around us need us to be different so that they can see Him living within us. So that when we make mistakes and apologize, when we live transparently in front of them, they will see God. You don't fit? Good. You weren't meant to fit. How liberating is that?
Please don't miss this:
http://www.youtube.com/user/brittnicolevevo?v=p9PjrtcHJPo
Friday, June 14, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Baseball Blues
Baseball season at our house is coming to an end. It never really seems long enough. Just about when a team begins to play well together, the season is over and they're handing out trophies. Of course, our son is in a league where the coach pitches, they don't really keep score and everyone "wins". It has it's exciting moments but mostly it is about the kids learning the rules of the game and everyone having a good time. Baseball is changed a little into a game of folly and there are a million errors. Half the time, the kids are spinning in circles instead of watching the game, or bent over playing in the dirt. Batting is their time to shine and they take it seriously, but the rest of the time, the coach is trying to keep them from playing tag in the dugout. Our guy's last game is Tuesday night, followed by a celebration at the local pizza place, handing out trophies and saying goodbye to kids we may not encounter again. It is a little bit sad, really. For a kid like ours, who makes connections with his team and loves to play the game, it will be hard not to be involved in something for a little while. It will be hard for him to wait many months to sign up to play again...the game he loves. He has made a lot of progress this year. It is awesome to see him take a swing at the ball and make contact, to watch him run full speed around the bases, to see the joy and the intensity of his game face. There really is nothing like it.
Something else has me contemplating the Baseball Blues but it really doesn't have much to do with baseball at all. It is the baseball pictures that we got last week. I bought the smallest package, partly because it was the cheapest but mostly because we have a dwindling number of people to give them to. When our oldest daughter was born and we had various portraits made, we had to get a bigger packet. Most of the great grandparents were still alive, there were grandparents and other extended family who would enjoy displaying a portrait on their fridge, or even put it in a frame and display it prominently for all to see...for them to brag about. Fast forward just thirteen years...we have no more great grandparents. The last one standing was my Grandma who passed away in December. My kids have one Grandad, a Granna and a Gram. They have a few uncles and aunts, very few people to send pictures to. It is a little bit sad (albeit cheaper when buying pictures) to think about how few people my kids have to call "family". Most of our family lives far enough away that we rarely see one another. Many of our family members will never see him play the game. So, we try to "make family" with the relationships we develop, but I've found that it really is not the same, no matter how hard we try. I wish it were different for them, and for me.
Something else has me contemplating the Baseball Blues but it really doesn't have much to do with baseball at all. It is the baseball pictures that we got last week. I bought the smallest package, partly because it was the cheapest but mostly because we have a dwindling number of people to give them to. When our oldest daughter was born and we had various portraits made, we had to get a bigger packet. Most of the great grandparents were still alive, there were grandparents and other extended family who would enjoy displaying a portrait on their fridge, or even put it in a frame and display it prominently for all to see...for them to brag about. Fast forward just thirteen years...we have no more great grandparents. The last one standing was my Grandma who passed away in December. My kids have one Grandad, a Granna and a Gram. They have a few uncles and aunts, very few people to send pictures to. It is a little bit sad (albeit cheaper when buying pictures) to think about how few people my kids have to call "family". Most of our family lives far enough away that we rarely see one another. Many of our family members will never see him play the game. So, we try to "make family" with the relationships we develop, but I've found that it really is not the same, no matter how hard we try. I wish it were different for them, and for me.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Decisions, decisions...
"Are you afraid?"
Yesterday while taking my small children to the restroom at the public library, I was approached by a young woman. She had quite obviously been watching us and taken this opportunity away from the watchful eyes of the security guard to talk to me. She told me her sad story about a father dying and a young daughter who needed food. I'm a mom and I was not born yesterday. I saw that she was either a great liar with a good story or she was in bad shape. I had no money to give to her. I rarely ever carry cash with me. So I offered to bring her some groceries. She immediately wondered if I would actually come back. I took down her phone number and told her I would give her a call when I was coming back and I could meet her. She asked me for my number. I gave it to her. In that moment, it seemed like a simple thing to do. Within a few minutes, she had suggested that she could come with me to the store. When I hesitated she asked, "Are you afraid?" I told her no...and in that moment, I really was not afraid (mostly I was annoyed).
So, we headed to the store, she and my girls and I ...and almost as soon as she got in the car the conversations shifted to spiritual things. "Are you a Christian?" I got to hear a little more about her background, how she had grown up, what God had been teaching her. Her knowledge was but a framework, she didn't know how to put into words what she thought she believed. She asked some questions and I talked to her about Him. Jesus...the reason I was driving a complete stranger to the store to buy groceries...because, I believe that is what He would do. At the store she graciously picked out things that her four year old daughter would like. She always grabbed the store brand. She was very cautious and always asked if it was too much. We grabbed the basics to make lunches, to have a few dinners, to wash their hair and clothes. My girls picked out a few things...milk and a few treats...and we were finished there. She thanked me.
I drove her home. She thanked me again. We unpacked the groceries into her yard and we drove away. Then the conversation started with my girls. The twelve year old thought what we had done was risky and suspicious but that she seemed like she was trying to be a good mom. The five year old thought the girl was nice. We chatted about the little girl who would come home to a real (frozen) dinner and popsicles from a nineteen year old mom who doesn't know how to cook. The conversation changed to what else we could do for her...and I was so proud of them then. They are beginning to understand that there are people in the world who need help and they can make a difference, no matter how small. It is beginning to become natural to help. We came home and they gathered a few things to take to them, blankets and toys and a small blow up mattress for the little girl that we didn't even meet. They talked about her like they know her and were thoughtful about what she might like. It is all sitting by the front door ready to be delivered.
"What if...?"
When we were eating dinner, the twelve year old said, "Did you tell dad about what we did?" He knew that we were buying groceries for her but hadn't heard the story yet. He reminded us of the importance to be careful with how much information we give out about ourselves and that sort of thing. Instead of feeling good about what I had just done, I began to let fear set in...I did let my guard down a little, I did give her my phone number, I did tell her the name of our church (which meets in our home right now). It made me worried and it made me mad that I would need to worry. Isn't it just what we are called to do...to help other people, to share with them a little of what we have been given? Doesn't God say to take care of the least of these? What if...by doing something good, I brought some kind of harm to my own kids? In the moment, I didn't feel afraid at all, but lying in my bed last night, I couldn't rest thinking of all the "what ifs" that were rushing through my brain. It really was enough to steal the joy out of the whole thing. I felt vulnerable and frustrated and so many other different emotions. For what? Probably nothing.
In the light of day this morning, I am less afraid and concerned. I feel a little better after a reasonable amount of sleep. I know that I did the right thing even if it was possibly a risky endeavor. Am I naive enough to believe that this was a one time occurance for this girl? Not hardly. I am sure that I looked like a friendly face to someone who is good at searching them out. She was street smart and savvy (one of my favorite pirate words... arrgh). I know she probably thought I was crazy for helping her. I'm pretty sure she will be at the library (or some other location) today looking for someone else like me to give her a hand. Is that a reason not to help? Is there really any reason not to help?
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? in the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." -James 2:14-17
"For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They also will answer, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?" He will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." -Matthew 25:42-45
What could I do differently?
Share less information.
Be honest if I am uncomfortable.
Say "no" if it is something unreasonable.
Carry a bag of groceries in my car in case of "emergencies".
Worry less, trust more and count the cost.
Yesterday while taking my small children to the restroom at the public library, I was approached by a young woman. She had quite obviously been watching us and taken this opportunity away from the watchful eyes of the security guard to talk to me. She told me her sad story about a father dying and a young daughter who needed food. I'm a mom and I was not born yesterday. I saw that she was either a great liar with a good story or she was in bad shape. I had no money to give to her. I rarely ever carry cash with me. So I offered to bring her some groceries. She immediately wondered if I would actually come back. I took down her phone number and told her I would give her a call when I was coming back and I could meet her. She asked me for my number. I gave it to her. In that moment, it seemed like a simple thing to do. Within a few minutes, she had suggested that she could come with me to the store. When I hesitated she asked, "Are you afraid?" I told her no...and in that moment, I really was not afraid (mostly I was annoyed).
So, we headed to the store, she and my girls and I ...and almost as soon as she got in the car the conversations shifted to spiritual things. "Are you a Christian?" I got to hear a little more about her background, how she had grown up, what God had been teaching her. Her knowledge was but a framework, she didn't know how to put into words what she thought she believed. She asked some questions and I talked to her about Him. Jesus...the reason I was driving a complete stranger to the store to buy groceries...because, I believe that is what He would do. At the store she graciously picked out things that her four year old daughter would like. She always grabbed the store brand. She was very cautious and always asked if it was too much. We grabbed the basics to make lunches, to have a few dinners, to wash their hair and clothes. My girls picked out a few things...milk and a few treats...and we were finished there. She thanked me.
I drove her home. She thanked me again. We unpacked the groceries into her yard and we drove away. Then the conversation started with my girls. The twelve year old thought what we had done was risky and suspicious but that she seemed like she was trying to be a good mom. The five year old thought the girl was nice. We chatted about the little girl who would come home to a real (frozen) dinner and popsicles from a nineteen year old mom who doesn't know how to cook. The conversation changed to what else we could do for her...and I was so proud of them then. They are beginning to understand that there are people in the world who need help and they can make a difference, no matter how small. It is beginning to become natural to help. We came home and they gathered a few things to take to them, blankets and toys and a small blow up mattress for the little girl that we didn't even meet. They talked about her like they know her and were thoughtful about what she might like. It is all sitting by the front door ready to be delivered.
"What if...?"
When we were eating dinner, the twelve year old said, "Did you tell dad about what we did?" He knew that we were buying groceries for her but hadn't heard the story yet. He reminded us of the importance to be careful with how much information we give out about ourselves and that sort of thing. Instead of feeling good about what I had just done, I began to let fear set in...I did let my guard down a little, I did give her my phone number, I did tell her the name of our church (which meets in our home right now). It made me worried and it made me mad that I would need to worry. Isn't it just what we are called to do...to help other people, to share with them a little of what we have been given? Doesn't God say to take care of the least of these? What if...by doing something good, I brought some kind of harm to my own kids? In the moment, I didn't feel afraid at all, but lying in my bed last night, I couldn't rest thinking of all the "what ifs" that were rushing through my brain. It really was enough to steal the joy out of the whole thing. I felt vulnerable and frustrated and so many other different emotions. For what? Probably nothing.
In the light of day this morning, I am less afraid and concerned. I feel a little better after a reasonable amount of sleep. I know that I did the right thing even if it was possibly a risky endeavor. Am I naive enough to believe that this was a one time occurance for this girl? Not hardly. I am sure that I looked like a friendly face to someone who is good at searching them out. She was street smart and savvy (one of my favorite pirate words... arrgh). I know she probably thought I was crazy for helping her. I'm pretty sure she will be at the library (or some other location) today looking for someone else like me to give her a hand. Is that a reason not to help? Is there really any reason not to help?
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? in the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." -James 2:14-17
"For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' They also will answer, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?" He will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." -Matthew 25:42-45
What could I do differently?
Share less information.
Be honest if I am uncomfortable.
Say "no" if it is something unreasonable.
Carry a bag of groceries in my car in case of "emergencies".
Worry less, trust more and count the cost.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Summer can't come soon enough...
 |
| Trying out her new swimsuit in the tub. |
With the talk of winter storms all over the place, I'm ready to skip spring and bring on summer!
This is the time of year when winter needs to take a backseat to warmer weather. Not being a winter weather person ever, I never really have a desire for one more snowstorm. Anyone who knows me well, knows that at the slightest chance of snow I tend to hide in the closet and hibernate, so when March rolls around I'm ready to see the sun. No more flakes, drifts or flurries just heat and plenty of warm days. Unfortunately, living where we do, during this time of the year you can see three seasons within the course of a few hours, sometimes even minutes. I know that living in the desert as we do, every little bit of moisture is needed, but not always enjoyed by all.
Yesterday, with a trip to the local indoor pool around the corner, we headed out for new swimsuits for the girls. It made me wish I were loading up on sunscreen too. Hopefully in the near future we'll be making our annual trek to Phoenix to visit the Grandparents and the SUN!
Summer, Summer wherefore art thou Summer! WE LOVE YOU here! Come soon!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Making Lemonade
When life gives you lemons...
The last time I posted we had just moved to our new home in Santa Fe. A lot has happened in the three weeks since we arrived. Most of it has been positive and exciting. We are mostly unpacked and settling in to the new house. We've begun to meet a few of our neighbors. We had our first church service in our home. The kids are getting adjusted to their new surroundings. We all are enjoying where we live and the many different opportunities that it brings for our family.
Here come the lemons...A little over a week ago on Saturday the 23rd, Jamie got a call that his mom had fallen. To make a long story short, she had spent two days in her house without being able to get help, without any water, and without being able to take important medicine that she needs on a daily basis. This left her severely dehydrated and in need of critical care. It also caused her to have a major stroke which has affected her memory as well as her vision. She was/is in pretty bad shape. The doctors believe that she will recover much of what she has lost but it is going to take time.
In the meantime, she has been moved to a rehab facility here in Santa Fe. It has given us the opportunity to be able to minister to her in her time of greatest need. We have all been able to spend a little time with her. Jamie has been visiting with her for several hours a day. Sometimes he takes our oldest daughter with him. She has shown such maturity and grace to her Gram. It has been a beautiful picture to me about how God gives us chances to make an impact right where we are. Unfortunately we can not be there all the time. It is not a place that is condusive to hanging out for hours on end. Speaking with her for many hours at a time is difficult for everyone. She asks many of the same questions over and over within a few minutes time. Many times she can't recall that someone was even there to see her. But, she is making improvements. She is working very hard to gain what has been lost. It is very tiring for her so she also needs a lot of rest.
Lemonade
Today, we recieved a phone call from a friend who gave us the idea to make a scrapbook for her to use to help her with her memory. It was a great idea. We quickly whipped together a binder with some page protectors and printed some photos. The kids added some personal touches. It isn't anything fancy but it came together easily. Our oldest daughter and I took it to her and hopefully it will make some difference in her ability to recall details. We added some blank pieces of paper for others to write notes to her that will help her recall their visit. Maybe some of her therapists will be able to use it to help her remember important details about her life. I believe that she has a long and difficult road ahead of her. It is our job as her family to walk that road with her and help her however we can.
This would not be the way that I would have chosen to begin this new journey here in Santa Fe. But, God has a plan that is better than our own. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11. He will walk with us as we move forward in this journey and He will be glorified.
We know that the days ahead will be difficult. There will be many decisions to make regarding what will be best for Jamie's mom. She will need a lot of patience and care. We are going to do our best to make lemonade out of the lemons we have been given. Sometimes life's lemons turn out some fantastic experiences along the way. Certainly we will learn a lot about ourselves in the process.
Sometimes I fail to remember this group of verses that are brought to my attention and many times convict my heart. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 4-7 What an awesome promise!
I know that many people are dealing with one type of lemon or another in their lives today. Whether it be physical, financial, relational or spiritual in nature, any trial has the potential to either tear us apart or draw us closer to one another. May the lemons in your life bring you closer to those who are important to you and most importantly to the God who promises to give you a hope and a future.
By all means, make lemonade!
The last time I posted we had just moved to our new home in Santa Fe. A lot has happened in the three weeks since we arrived. Most of it has been positive and exciting. We are mostly unpacked and settling in to the new house. We've begun to meet a few of our neighbors. We had our first church service in our home. The kids are getting adjusted to their new surroundings. We all are enjoying where we live and the many different opportunities that it brings for our family.
Here come the lemons...A little over a week ago on Saturday the 23rd, Jamie got a call that his mom had fallen. To make a long story short, she had spent two days in her house without being able to get help, without any water, and without being able to take important medicine that she needs on a daily basis. This left her severely dehydrated and in need of critical care. It also caused her to have a major stroke which has affected her memory as well as her vision. She was/is in pretty bad shape. The doctors believe that she will recover much of what she has lost but it is going to take time.
In the meantime, she has been moved to a rehab facility here in Santa Fe. It has given us the opportunity to be able to minister to her in her time of greatest need. We have all been able to spend a little time with her. Jamie has been visiting with her for several hours a day. Sometimes he takes our oldest daughter with him. She has shown such maturity and grace to her Gram. It has been a beautiful picture to me about how God gives us chances to make an impact right where we are. Unfortunately we can not be there all the time. It is not a place that is condusive to hanging out for hours on end. Speaking with her for many hours at a time is difficult for everyone. She asks many of the same questions over and over within a few minutes time. Many times she can't recall that someone was even there to see her. But, she is making improvements. She is working very hard to gain what has been lost. It is very tiring for her so she also needs a lot of rest.
Lemonade
Today, we recieved a phone call from a friend who gave us the idea to make a scrapbook for her to use to help her with her memory. It was a great idea. We quickly whipped together a binder with some page protectors and printed some photos. The kids added some personal touches. It isn't anything fancy but it came together easily. Our oldest daughter and I took it to her and hopefully it will make some difference in her ability to recall details. We added some blank pieces of paper for others to write notes to her that will help her recall their visit. Maybe some of her therapists will be able to use it to help her remember important details about her life. I believe that she has a long and difficult road ahead of her. It is our job as her family to walk that road with her and help her however we can.
This would not be the way that I would have chosen to begin this new journey here in Santa Fe. But, God has a plan that is better than our own. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11. He will walk with us as we move forward in this journey and He will be glorified.
We know that the days ahead will be difficult. There will be many decisions to make regarding what will be best for Jamie's mom. She will need a lot of patience and care. We are going to do our best to make lemonade out of the lemons we have been given. Sometimes life's lemons turn out some fantastic experiences along the way. Certainly we will learn a lot about ourselves in the process.
Sometimes I fail to remember this group of verses that are brought to my attention and many times convict my heart. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 4-7 What an awesome promise!
I know that many people are dealing with one type of lemon or another in their lives today. Whether it be physical, financial, relational or spiritual in nature, any trial has the potential to either tear us apart or draw us closer to one another. May the lemons in your life bring you closer to those who are important to you and most importantly to the God who promises to give you a hope and a future.
By all means, make lemonade!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
THERE is now HERE
We're HERE! After the many months of planning and waiting with anticipation, the Duke family has finally arrived in Santa Fe.
It was not a simple task. A little over a week ago we found a place to rent. We spent last week packing and preparing for our move, along with some great friends who came to help me pack up my kitchen and basement. On Friday Jamie picked up the moving van. On Saturday, our home was invaded by the most loving people you have ever met. I lost count of how many amazing friends, some that we don't even know very well, transcended on our house and loaded it all to the curb. Many of them filled their own truck beds, trunks and back seats and joined us on the hour long trek to the new house. They unloaded our furniture and boxes and enjoyed touring around the new house. They made beds and arranged furniture and placed dishes on shelves. They made pizza and enjoyed eating it with us. They hung clothes and put toys away. They held sick kids so I could put things away. And when they left I missed them terribly. But, we weren't able to bring everything on Saturday...so Sunday afternoon, they packed up the rest of our possessions and headed here once more to unload and unpack and visit and help. We have the most incredible friends. Two of them even cleaned the old house, from top to bottom yesterday, so that I didn't have to. That is love and I feel very loved by them all.
Sadly, the majority of my family (everyone except me) has been sick for much of our moving experience. The littlest one ran a fever for several days before finally starting to feel like herself, thanks to some potent antibiotics. I'm so thankful that we had all the help that we did, because I'm not sure we could have done it all without them. In fact, I know we couldn't. It would have taken weeks instead of a few short days.
We are beginning to settle in. After only a few days, things are coming together. We are still looking for some items that have yet to appear. The garage is a warehouse from floor to ceiling with boxes and tools and who knows what, but it is beginning to feel like home here. We have a beautiful view out our front windows and I've made a few meals in our wonderful kitchen. I think we're going to make some fantastic memories here.
Tomorrow we will visit the old house for the last time, find any lost treasures and bring the odds and ends that have been left behind. I'm looking forward to making new memories here in this beautiful home we are renting in Santa Fe, but I have to admit, leaving the house that has held my sweet family for the past eleven years was much harder than I thought it would be. Two of my three kids were born while we lived there. We've had many friends stay over and held family gatherings there. There were too many birthday parties and barbeques on the deck to count them all. On Friday we will sign the papers and pass over the keys and say goodbye to the first house we've ever owned, and with it close the chapter on a part of our lives that has been an incredible blessing in so many ways.
So, here we are. A whole new chapter begins. It's going to be a page turner. I can't wait!
It was not a simple task. A little over a week ago we found a place to rent. We spent last week packing and preparing for our move, along with some great friends who came to help me pack up my kitchen and basement. On Friday Jamie picked up the moving van. On Saturday, our home was invaded by the most loving people you have ever met. I lost count of how many amazing friends, some that we don't even know very well, transcended on our house and loaded it all to the curb. Many of them filled their own truck beds, trunks and back seats and joined us on the hour long trek to the new house. They unloaded our furniture and boxes and enjoyed touring around the new house. They made beds and arranged furniture and placed dishes on shelves. They made pizza and enjoyed eating it with us. They hung clothes and put toys away. They held sick kids so I could put things away. And when they left I missed them terribly. But, we weren't able to bring everything on Saturday...so Sunday afternoon, they packed up the rest of our possessions and headed here once more to unload and unpack and visit and help. We have the most incredible friends. Two of them even cleaned the old house, from top to bottom yesterday, so that I didn't have to. That is love and I feel very loved by them all.
Sadly, the majority of my family (everyone except me) has been sick for much of our moving experience. The littlest one ran a fever for several days before finally starting to feel like herself, thanks to some potent antibiotics. I'm so thankful that we had all the help that we did, because I'm not sure we could have done it all without them. In fact, I know we couldn't. It would have taken weeks instead of a few short days.
We are beginning to settle in. After only a few days, things are coming together. We are still looking for some items that have yet to appear. The garage is a warehouse from floor to ceiling with boxes and tools and who knows what, but it is beginning to feel like home here. We have a beautiful view out our front windows and I've made a few meals in our wonderful kitchen. I think we're going to make some fantastic memories here.
Tomorrow we will visit the old house for the last time, find any lost treasures and bring the odds and ends that have been left behind. I'm looking forward to making new memories here in this beautiful home we are renting in Santa Fe, but I have to admit, leaving the house that has held my sweet family for the past eleven years was much harder than I thought it would be. Two of my three kids were born while we lived there. We've had many friends stay over and held family gatherings there. There were too many birthday parties and barbeques on the deck to count them all. On Friday we will sign the papers and pass over the keys and say goodbye to the first house we've ever owned, and with it close the chapter on a part of our lives that has been an incredible blessing in so many ways.
So, here we are. A whole new chapter begins. It's going to be a page turner. I can't wait!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Here and There
The Long Goodbye
For several months we have been calling our life the "the long goodbye" because for about the last year we have been trying to transition between living here to moving there. Several years ago now, we started telling people we are close to, that someday we would be moving on from here to plant a church. Someday is now here and we are still living in the midst of that transition. I expect that the reality of the situation won't really hit until we've actually been there for awhile. Of course we do have to get there first.
House Update:
We are almost completely done with the sale of our house! A buyer emerged toward the middle of December. We had an offer just before Christmas. We countered the offer and he accepted it. He had the inspection done on December 27th and has been having a variety of people come make estimates on repairs the first few weeks of this month. We went into the formal contract phase this week. Barring any unforeseen complications, we should be closing on our house here on February 15th. Unfortunately, because this is a difficult market, we are not going to be making enough on the house here to be able to put a downpayment on something there. We do feel fortunate to be able to walk away without being completely upsidedown, but I have to say it is a bit of a disappointment.
Bad News/Good News
The bad news is, we are having a difficult time finding something affordable to rent in the area that we feel called to work. There are many factors as we move there that we feel need to fall into place and they just haven't yet. That news could be worse if there weren't good news to go along with it. The good news is that we don't have to be out of our house on February 15th if we don't have another place to live yet. The buyer doesn't need to live here until the summer and will be extending us an occupancy agreement should we need it. The trouble is, we are more than ready to be there and not here, so we would love not to need it.
"Who goes there?"
Some very exciting news is that we've already begun to minister in south Santa Fe (there). We have been holding church services for the past few weeks at our friends' home there and it has been very encouraging. Building new relationships there has only made it more evident to us how much we need to be there to do all that we are called to do. While we are so thankful for the many incredible relationships we have built here, it is time for us to move forward.
"I Don't Know"
These are the words that I find myself saying far too often these days. I know that I am tired of saying them so I can't even fathom how tired my kids are to hear them. "When are we moving there?" "I don't know." "Where are we going to live there?" "I don't know." It is hard for me so I know it is much more difficult for them. The great news is that I know who does know and I can trust Him. He has a plan for us there, and I need to remind myself everyday when I'm feeling discouraged that His ways are higher than my ways. Some days aren't as hard as others. Thank goodness!
Limbo Continues
So, do we pack like we are moving there next week or do we relax and enjoy the remainder of our time here? It is a hard balance. I've been working on packing things we don't use everyday but I don't want to live in a carboard jungle for too long. I've been trying to plan sleepovers, play dates and get togethers with special friends (both mine and theirs) so that this transition is fun too. I'm hoping when it is all said and done, we will get to have all these memories stored up for the times when it isn't so easy there, because I know there will be days when we really miss it here. It would be wrong not to feel that way about a place that we have called home for so long and for people that we have considered family here.
I think maybe this describes best how we feel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m-kbBamg_U
For several months we have been calling our life the "the long goodbye" because for about the last year we have been trying to transition between living here to moving there. Several years ago now, we started telling people we are close to, that someday we would be moving on from here to plant a church. Someday is now here and we are still living in the midst of that transition. I expect that the reality of the situation won't really hit until we've actually been there for awhile. Of course we do have to get there first.
House Update:
We are almost completely done with the sale of our house! A buyer emerged toward the middle of December. We had an offer just before Christmas. We countered the offer and he accepted it. He had the inspection done on December 27th and has been having a variety of people come make estimates on repairs the first few weeks of this month. We went into the formal contract phase this week. Barring any unforeseen complications, we should be closing on our house here on February 15th. Unfortunately, because this is a difficult market, we are not going to be making enough on the house here to be able to put a downpayment on something there. We do feel fortunate to be able to walk away without being completely upsidedown, but I have to say it is a bit of a disappointment.
Bad News/Good News
The bad news is, we are having a difficult time finding something affordable to rent in the area that we feel called to work. There are many factors as we move there that we feel need to fall into place and they just haven't yet. That news could be worse if there weren't good news to go along with it. The good news is that we don't have to be out of our house on February 15th if we don't have another place to live yet. The buyer doesn't need to live here until the summer and will be extending us an occupancy agreement should we need it. The trouble is, we are more than ready to be there and not here, so we would love not to need it.
"Who goes there?"
Some very exciting news is that we've already begun to minister in south Santa Fe (there). We have been holding church services for the past few weeks at our friends' home there and it has been very encouraging. Building new relationships there has only made it more evident to us how much we need to be there to do all that we are called to do. While we are so thankful for the many incredible relationships we have built here, it is time for us to move forward.
"I Don't Know"
These are the words that I find myself saying far too often these days. I know that I am tired of saying them so I can't even fathom how tired my kids are to hear them. "When are we moving there?" "I don't know." "Where are we going to live there?" "I don't know." It is hard for me so I know it is much more difficult for them. The great news is that I know who does know and I can trust Him. He has a plan for us there, and I need to remind myself everyday when I'm feeling discouraged that His ways are higher than my ways. Some days aren't as hard as others. Thank goodness!
Limbo Continues
So, do we pack like we are moving there next week or do we relax and enjoy the remainder of our time here? It is a hard balance. I've been working on packing things we don't use everyday but I don't want to live in a carboard jungle for too long. I've been trying to plan sleepovers, play dates and get togethers with special friends (both mine and theirs) so that this transition is fun too. I'm hoping when it is all said and done, we will get to have all these memories stored up for the times when it isn't so easy there, because I know there will be days when we really miss it here. It would be wrong not to feel that way about a place that we have called home for so long and for people that we have considered family here.
I think maybe this describes best how we feel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m-kbBamg_U
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)