Messy Parenting

Meet Sassy Frassy.  When she was born on September 12, 2007, I felt like our family was complete.  She was the sweetest, easiest baby with quick smiles for everyone (even the three year old brother who dubbed her "Chubby Lovey" and pinched her cheeks frequently until they had tiny blue bruises). Her big sister had finally gotten the wish she had been praying for for five years...a beautiful, perfect baby sister.  Everything about this child was easy.  A good little eater, reaching all of her milestones early or on time.  She was/is a quick learner and basically potty trained herself overnight. We would drag her to all kinds of sporting events and concerts and she would sleep through them or play quietly.  Just an easy-going, fun kid.  Her little baldish head was so enticing, even other people's daddies enjoyed rubbing it.  And, her giggle sounded just like a little billy goat.  She had her moments of course, but overall I was blessed with a precious easy baby girl!

But Parenting Is MESSY and no one is perfect.  When Sassy was about two years old I began to notice her eyes were not completely alligned. It showed up more commonly in pictures but I saw it sometimes, especially when she was tired.  I would ask other people if they noticed it and most said no or that it was common for little kids to cross their eyes.  Being the on-top-of-it mom that I am, I didn't get her in right away to check it out but said "we'll wait and see".  At her well check, months later, the pediatrician took one look at her and said she needed a referral to see a specialist.  Ouch!  A few weeks later we took her to see a Pediatric Opthamologist.  Without going into detail on how that visit went, I'll just say we were sent away feeling like WE had wasted HIS time (and then paid him nicely for it).  He said it was an optical illusion because the bridge of her nose was wide.  But he was the expert right? 

Fast forward five more months...almost every week, someone asked me if we had gotten Sassy in to see someone about her eyes.  Well-meaning strangers would comment on them (I know...that is always so fun having to tell myself to smile and walk away without any "mind-your-own-business" comments).  MESSY!  I would simply say we had seen an expert and he said it was an optical illusion...all the while believing in my mom-heart that I was probably relaying false information.  Finally, an adult friend who had trouble with a lazy eye asked me about it and prompted me to get her in to see someone again.  So I called the other specialist recommended to us by our doctor and he could see her in three more months.  More waiting.  By the time we finally got her in to see him, she was falling all the time, bumping into doorknobs and walls and coloring her pictures with her eyes two inches from the paper.  Still a pretty happy and easy-going kid, all of it barely phased her but I was so sad seeing her little bruised up noggin all the time.

 Her new doctor diagnosed her problem as Amblyopia within a few minutes of seeing her, and had us start patching her good eye for a few hours a day hoping to train her lazy eye and brain to start using it again.   Sassy took it all in stride and almost never complained about wearing her eye patch.  After two months of doing this with little result, her doctor decided glasses were her next step for healing.  She wore them all last summer and man she looked so cute in them!!! 

Then last July, a few months before her 4th birthday, her doctor said she would need to have eye surgery to correct the damage.  AAAAAHHHHHHHH!  That was my silent scream as he told me the news.  Of course on the outside, I'm nodding and pretending to hear what he said after that.  On the inside, I'm thinking "there has to be some other options out there."  And, there are.  So, I started researching Vision Therapy.  After a few months of prayer and deliberation over what to proceed with, we decided that surgery was in fact her best option.  It is such a hard choice to operate on your child, knowing that some blindness is a possibility either way.  How is that even fair?  MESSY.  In that time I had been playing phone tag with the surgery schedulers for many weeks.  By the time we finally connected, they had two dates available, October 18th or December 21st.  Not wanting to mess with Christmas, I took the first available...it was only two weeks away. SCARY!  I am not a fan of messing with people's eyes...too icky and risky...and then thinking about them doing that to my baby girl? Not fun, seriously MESSY!  At her pre-op appointment the following week, we had to sign papers that listed all the possible outcomes.  Really, we were looking at a 50/50 chance to save her vision and she would most likely still need to wear glasses to correct the vision anyway.  Jamie and I looked at each other and asked "why are we doing this?".  But with some fear and a lot of faith, we proceeded.  On October 18, 2011, we watched as the anesthesiologist carted our partially drugged baby girl off to an operating room, listening as she slurrily told him about our dog Annie.  I was so proud of her. 

This story could take many turns from here.  I am beyond thankful for the outcome that I get to share from here on out.  Her surgery lasted about 45 minutes.  I was almost surprised how fast it was, as her doctor came out to the waiting area to tell us how well it had gone and I breathed a tentative sigh of relief.  We were allowed back to help her as she woke up and it was hard to see her unable to open her eyes and fussing from discomfort, but it was done!  She did remarkably well  with recovery and again I was so proud of the way she dealt with her discomfort. 

It has been six months since she was operated on and I am so pleased to be able to write that as of yesterday's appointment Sassy Frassy is still doing incredibly well.  She has been back for several post-operative visits and each one has filled me with hope and thankfulness for her vision.  Right now, her eyes and brain have adjusted well to the change.  She does not have to wear glasses for correction and her doctor said at her three month appointment that most kids will revert back by six months post-op if they are going to.  I am blessed with a MESSY far-from-perfect four year old with good vision and I am very thankful!