Impact

This has been a week to remember at our house.  As we continue to minister to the community of Santa Fe, taking the gospel to those who may never have heard, we had the privilege of enjoying some temporary partners in our ministry.  This week five students who are part of the collegiate ministries at their universities in New Mexico joined with us in implementing Backyard Bible Clubs and an incredible block party along with loving on and hanging out with our own children and families involved in our ministry.


 I would have to say that it made a huge impact on our own kids and all of the lives that they were able to touch while they were here.  Did anyone commit their life to Christ? Not that we know of.  Are people flocking to our church as a result of their ministry? Not that we know of yet.  But lives were touched and people were able to see a different way of life, something worth asking about, something worth discussing.  Why would five students give up their summer to drive around the state of New Mexico to play with and teach kids that they don't even know and may never see again? Why would they be willing to do whatever a church that they have been assigned to asks of them, sometimes not knowing what they will be doing until they get to their next location? Because they were asked to by God and they desire to give their life to Christ...all of it, including their summer, including their free time, including their own comfort.  One guy slept on our couch this week...I'm hoping the dog didn't lick his face while he slept.


 I was personally impacted by their graciousness on many occasions this week, each one of the students showing gratitude or kindness or asking a thoughtful question about one of my kids.  One student went out of her comfort zone to experience the total admiration of our youngest child who tends to love people with all of her being.  Rosie was a great sport and made this mom smile on many occasions as our six year old lavished attention on her without being pushed away. I know that wasn't an easy thing to do but it was important to one little girl (and her mom).


 I enjoyed having students to feed and to listen to their stories.  I enjoyed hearing Jamie share his vision with them and watching them soak in what Christ is doing in our lives here.  I enjoyed their games, songs and stories about Jesus as they shared with the kids that we know and seeing the admiration on my own son's face as he participated in the activities.  I greatly admired the team's willingness to go to his baseball game when they could have done something else.  I am thankful that our teenage daughter was able to spend time with the girls on the team and was able to feel comfortable participating in the activities as an assisitant to them. All of it made an impact here...their willingness to serve impacted our ability to serve where we live. 


It was so great to have the extra hands and hearts to do all that we were able to do this week and I know that it did not go unnoticed with the people that we met and were able to serve. I am so thankful that we were able to have them here with us this week and look forward to hearing about all they get to experience this summer.  I hope to see them again sometime. What we experienced this week was just a taste of what God has in store for those who follow after Him with their whole lives.  He wants all of us to know what it feels like to be part of something bigger than ourselves, to know how to give and to serve, to make an impact on people wherever we are.  I hope that I can do so with the same graciousness of this team that has impacted us this week.

Summer Boredom Buster

We are in week two of summer vacation.  Although I've only heard it a few times so far, the words "I'm bored" have already been stated in this house.  Usually, when I hear that uttered my response is "well, I do have a toilet or two that need to be cleaned."  That does the trick and they seem to go find something else to occupy them.  The toilet really only needs to be cleaned so many times. At the same time, I am attempting to limit the screen time because they could easily all veg out in front of one all of their wakeful hours and what a waste that would be (AHEM teen daughter).  So this morning I decided to write a list  that could give them ideas about some things that would be creative or fun and they could mostly do on their own (that would be my hope at least!) My kids are 13, 9 and 6.  Some of the ideas are not going to work for the 6 year old, and my 13 year old would not be caught dead doing a few of them, but there is something for everyone on here.   Here is the list I came up with:

Instead of Saying “I’m Bored” this Summer:

Read a book (or TEN books!) …Write out your goals for something you would like to be able to do this year, five years from now, or when you are a grown up…Create something from things you find around the house…Write a story…Design a building…Draw a map of a place you would like to visit (it can be an imaginary place)…Draw a favorite movie or book character…Lay on your bed and dream with your eyes open…Build something with Legos…Think of something you can make out of recyclables and make it…Invent something to help with a common problem…Practice your math skills…Use your flashcards…Write and solve word problems…Use common household objects to make a math or science project…Look at the house from the perspective of an ant (what do they see?)…Keep a personal journal…Go Outside! …Look at the sky…Use a magnifying glass and inspect the yard…Create art out of something in nature…Ride your bike…Ride your scooter…Write a letter to your Grandparents or to one of your cousins…Make a list of places you would like to visit someday…Watch a youtube video about your favorite animal…Create a travel brochure…Watch your favorite movie and write a movie review…Cook something and then eat it…Look at recipe books and write out a few that you would like to try to make…Make a home video that explains something that you know how to do well…Take some pictures…Clean something (I will make a separate list of options)…Be helpful…Think of something you can secretly do for someone else and make it happen…Make a fort…Organize something…Plant a garden…Make a fairy village under our tree using things found in nature…Make a scrapbook of things you did in school this year…Look at the stars with the telescope…Work on Handwriting…Practice skills you want to get better at…Sort your toys and plan to get rid of some…Play with your toys! ...Make up a new board game…Invite someone to play a game with you…Brush the dog and give her some attention …Research something you are interested in learning about …Make popsicles…Count how many steps it takes to get to different places in the house or outside and make a chart that shows the distances…Design a t-shirt…Make a collage…Create something that you could give as a gift to someone…Make jewelry…Make a list of your favorite foods…Pull weeds…Improve your computer skills…Ask someone to teach you how to do something new…Read a story to someone younger than you…Plan a trip somewhere local (find out how long it will take to get there, what it will cost, what is there to see or do)…Write a Thank You note to someone for doing something for you…Visit the school garden… Paint a picture…Write a Poem…Finish something you have started…

These are just a few suggestions of things you can do with your time instead of being “BORED”. Find something to do and have a good time MAKING or DOING or BEING…Enjoy your SUMMER!
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This is now printed and posted on the fridge.  So far today I have helped work on an unfinished story on the computer, started making a board game, helped the youngest read eight books to the dog and right now the dog is getting brushed whether she likes it or not.  If you happen to make a list like this, just realize that your participation may be required on many if not all of the activities...it may not buy you the down time that you are hoping for.  There may be a million messes to clean up. The kids may  even fight over the dog that is usually all but ignored.  But, hopefully, your kids will use it to do something worthwhile this summer. They might even learn something about the world or themselves. They may even think of some things to add to the list for next year.  That is my hope. 

Last year we also made a list of 100 things to do as a family...if you read that post, you may recall that we were able to accomplish a little more than half of them.  So this year instead of having such lofty plans, each of us are coming up with ten things we would like to do.   That makes fifty things which I think is a lot more doable. So far we've already knocked a few off the list.  I will let you know another day exactly what that list is (we haven't written it all down yet).  I. SO. LOVE. SUMMER!  I hope this is a great one! So far so good.

One Big Fat Baby

I can not even tell you how long we have been pregnant with this baby!  It has been soooooo long. The labor pains have been ongoing and some have been pretty painful.  We have learned so so much from this pregnancy experience and now it is time to birth this baby. 




Are the Dukes about to become a family of six?  No!




But, we are planting a church and it is finally time to LAUNCH!  This is happening for us on Sunday.  Easter.  Can you even fathom the excitement, tension, fear, excitement, total anticipation that is traveling through this household?  It is unfathomable!  We are trying to act normal but it is pretty hard to contain!




The thing is, we are not only giving birth to this church but we have been in the process of adoption as well. We have adopted this city called Santa Fe as our very own.   And in the process, we have completely fallen in love with it.  How is this possible?  So much like Jonah, this city in the past has been our Ninevah...but God changes hearts and He is in the business of breaking them.  He breaks them so that He can mold them and He uses them to reach those who are being saved.  Don't you love that He never wants us to stay broken?  He is always in the process of transforming our lives so that we can help others become broken and transformed.  Adoption into His family by way of the sacrifice of His Son.  Broken and transformed. Easter.


So,ready or not, the contractions are coming.  What is this baby going to look like?  Hopefully just like Jesus.  I can't wait for Easter.  He is risen!

It's a Dog's Life

MOVING
From Annie's Perspective

I just don't get it.  It seems to me that we just did this.  This time last week, things were going just fine...I got up, went outside, spending all morning following my mom around so she won't forget to take me for a ride when the kids go to those places they won't let me inside.  I don't mind sitting in the car.  It is better than being left at home, or even worse, the backyard!  I'm a civilized girl.  I belong where the people are. I spend the afternoon following mom from room to room, taking naps from time to time in all my favorite spots until it is time to pick up the kids.  As soon as she puts her shoes on, I have to stay on her heels so she won't forget that I want to go too.  In the evening, I don't stray too far from the kitchen so I can be there to grab anything that might hit the floor.  I try to be nonchalant about it so I don't get kicked out.  I make sure and finish off the breakfast that I was given earlier in the day so that I can bark like I'm starving for the dinner that I will leave part of until morning. Then I'm off to bed.  I do my best to guard the kids for awhile but end up sleeping on my own bed in the living room. You know, it's not a bad life.

Then a few days ago, out came the boxes.  I hate them.  They get in the way and take up all the good places to lay down.  I have to keep moving to stay out of the way.  Then they start filling them up with all the stuff, all over the house.  The tape dispenser is so noisy. It scares me.  The furniture is getting pushed around and then disappearing altogether.  It is freaky!  I have to stay near people so they don't forget that I'm here.  I don't want to get left behind when this place is completely empty, which is happening fast.  This is not my first move you know! So what if I lay in the doorway and people keep having to tell me to move out of the way? Yeah, I did roll my eyes a few times and let out more than a few annoyed sighs.  A dog has to do what a dog has to do. 

What, you are not taking me on the next twenty car trips?  I don't care that there isn't an inch of space to sit in.  Why do the kids get to go and not me?  It isn't fair!  You saved space for them when you loaded the car!  I see how you are.  I don't believe it,  you're putting me in the backyard instead?

Oh, I get to go this time.  Lucky me!  So this is where you're putting all the stuff.  Did you bring my bed, my bowl, my food?  Ah, you did.  I guess this isn't such a bad place.  Although, I had just gotten used to the other one.  Ok, I will go to bed and guard the kids.  I hope we're here to stay for awhile and I hope we can get rid of these boxes.  I hate them.  What?  You still have to unpack them?  They're going to be here for awhile.  I'll just have to follow you around for the next few weeks to make sure that it all gets done properly.  You'll think that I'm napping, but I've got my eyes on you. You're rearranging the furniture again?  Make up your mind already!

Yes!...You're putting your shoes on...I'm ready to go.  Please take me this time...please take me this time...Please take me!

Time for a change...AGAIN?

With boxes scattered around me, EVERYWHERE, I'm wondering (yet, again)when will life ever be normal? Then I realize, maybe THIS is normal...organized chaos.  This is what a messy life looks like.  Moving is just part of it.

Today I will meet with the kindergarten teacher who's class I recently pulled my daughter out of to homeschool her for the rest of the year.  Messy.  Without going into too many details, it just wasn't the environment we were hoping for her first school experience to be.  It has been a very difficult first semester for us and this has been a difficult decision to come to. I haven't slept much, wrestling with the issues of the situation and trying to coming up with a good solution.  It has been one of those parenting challenges that come up all the time in homes everywhere.  One where any decision that is made could have lasting consequences, but not making a decision is not an option.  When none of the choices seemed all that great, I just wanted one that I could feel peace about. I've been praying for an opportunity to show grace while also giving protection.  I think it is going to work out that way.  My daughter doesn't really understand what's going on.  This is confusing for her and we're doing our best to make it work and help her through it.  Her main concern is still getting to see her friends of course, so I'm trying to make that happen when we can.

And yes, over the weekend, we moved. AGAIN.  Sort of.  We still have a bunch of stuff to organize and move from the old house to this new one.  It already feels more like a nest than a resort vacation home with all of our stuff in it to me, even with the boxes scattered everywhere and the feeling that I'll never find anything again.  Our new garage is loaded to the rafters with all the stuff we need to let loose of, so that the next move...may it be a few years away...won't be as overwhelming as this one (or the last).  It is hard to part with things (and people, really) that have been important in the past, or have the potential to be useful in the future.  I keep trying to repurpose things and make them usable again.  Sometimes, it is okay to let them go.  Except, that one thing...oh and that one...and that one.

You may recall that less than a year ago we moved from our beloved Los Alamos to Santa Fe.  At that time we took on a higher rent than we were comfortable with in order to be in the neighborhood we were interested in planting our lives and our church.  It was, at that time, the only house available to rent when we needed it.  Living there gave us a fantastic experience, meeting people we otherwise would not know now.  However, we knew that when our lease was up we would need to find something else, with a little more comfortable rent.  So here we are, in a different house in the same general area with all our stuff piled around.  It will get sorted and it will get put into a usable order...hopefully soon for my sanity's sake.  I will find the knives and other utensils that somehow ended up in the garage instead of the kitchen, and the countless other things that I don't even know are misplaced yet.  (I think there are some missing potatoes, somewhere.  Frightening!) We will get the other house emptied completely and cleaned up.  It is just the process of it that is so messy. 

Oh, and to top it off, next week is the science fair for our third grader.  Jamie asked me a few weeks ago when the science fair was.  I told him the dates and he said exactly what I was really thinking,  "Well that's crappy timing!"  I had to remind him that they didn't consult our schedule and purposefully put the science fair in the middle of our move.  We've He's finished the experiment.  Now we I just need to locate the materials in the cardboard jungle and we HE needs to finish the presentation.  It will get done somehow.

Ah Normal, whoever you are, I am still searching for you.  Don't lose hope.  I will find you, and in doing so, maybe I'll find the knives, the potatoes (preferably sooner than later), the science board and myself as well.

2013 in Review

I don't think that  I will be getting a Christmas letter out again this year...I think it has been at least five years since I was that ambitious about doing it.  The silly thing is, it will take nearly as much effort to write this blog post as it would to compose a simple letter.  So, I think my solution is to make my post my Christmas letter and call it good.  Sometimes good enough is good enough.

Our year started out a little on the wild side.  I can't say that in most ways it has slowed down much at all.  I guess we kind of like living with a lot going on and enjoy the adventure, soon it just starts to feel normal.  Of course we have plenty of lazy days to mix in there but even then, it seems like we are always thinking or planning for the next thing.  Such is life.  You will probably notice that much of what we did this year revolves around the ministry of our church.  That is because, it has become our whole life, and I don't say that in a negative way.  We ARE the church and He has chosen us to be in this place for "such a time as this."  We count it an honor and most of the time a joy to serve with our whole lives and it involves almost everything that we participate in.   Here is a year in review of the happenings at our house:

Thank you Los Alamos.  We made a lot of great discoveries and memories with you!

January:  Most of you may recall that we sold our house in lovely Los Alamos, a bit of a miracle due to the nature of the market, the neighborhood that it was located and the interest of realtors to show it.  The buyer chose to make his move right around Christmas last year, thankfully we were out of town visiting Jamie's mom, so he had all kinds of access to have it looked over from top to bottom and bottom to top...a very thorough purchase on his part.  He picked it, HOORAY!  We couldn't be more thankful for the choice he made because it allowed us to move forward with our own move without having the house to hold us back. 

Our new home for now in Santa Fe, New Mexico

February:  Our family of five plus one pooch loaded up everything we own and traveled an hour south to the stunning city of Santa Fe.  We could not have accomplished this without the incredible help of a few dozen of our friends.  I think they were sad to see us go but equally glad to be finished lifting and dragging and hauling all of our stuff...note to self and warning to others-having 800 square feet of storage space in your basement for ten+ years can be a very bad thing.  Two weeks post move Jamie's mom had a stroke  that greatly affected her short term memory and she spent several days in the hospital in Albuquerque before being moved to a rehab facility here in Santa Fe.  It was a little crazy there for a few weeks, not knowing what this would look like for her and for all of us.  Certainly God knew what He was doing and knowing that, has made the transition easier to handle.

March: Our family began to settle in to this new life.  We met a few people, started meeting on Sunday nights in our home for LifePoint Church...A Different Kind of Church for the City Different.  We had really put feet to the decision that we had made to follow God in His plan for us to plant a new church here.  Now what?

 

April:  We had our first semi-public outreach event in our neighborhood  by doing a brunch/service/ egg hunt at our home.  We invited the neighbors directly surrounding us to come and eat and hang out with us. We had some fantastic friends and family from out of town that made this event even more fun, and though not too many neighbors participated, we got a good taste of what doing this type of ministry would be like.  The following week a mission team from Los Alamos joined us to spend their Spring Break working with us to start meeting our community.  We held a block party event at the end of that week that was a lot of fun and we were able to meet even more of our neighbors.  During this time, Jamie's mom made the decision to continue to live in Santa Fe and we helped her move to an assisted living center here. 

May:  This month brought another exciting neighborhood event.  Our church did a Kite Festival in our neighborhood. About thirty kids and their families came to make and fly kites with us.  Jamie spent  a lot of his time hunting down the unfortunate kites whose strings either broke or were let go.  We learned a lot about flexibility and had a great time with our kids. May also brought baseball...the game the boys in this family love.  Our boy played on a local team and had a great time.  We got to meet even more families through this experience and got a better feel for the people of our new town.  There's nothing like a kids' sport event to show the true colors of parents, coaches and kids.  I'm proud to say that our coaches were kind and supportive and helped everyone learn a lot about the game.  It was a great season!

June:  Oh summer!  How I miss you, as the beautiful snow falls outside my window.  June brought a lot of work mixed with fun.  We held several events and had a few canceled at the last minute by people who aren't sure about our presence here.  We learned even more about being flexible and that our reactions to people who may not agree with us speak volumes about who we are.  We had a couple of movie nights in another neighborhood near us and learned that it is always good to know when the sprinklers will be coming on! 

July:  July is the beginning of birthday season around here...within two months from the 14th of July to the 12th of September, every family member is celebrated.  It can be fantastic, exhausting and unfortunately expensive...I for one breathe a sigh of relief when it is finished.  Jamie and I celebrate together since our birthdays are a day apart.  We all took a quick trip to Texas this month, got to tour the Rangers' stadium and go to a game.  The kids and I hung out, swam, shopped, watched movies, and went to the LEGOLAND Discovery Center while Jamie attended a conference.  It was a great little getaway.

August:  You always bring the bitter and the sweet!  The bitter for me is the end of summer. The sweet for the kids this year was getting to go to school.  I guess in many ways it is sweet for me too, but every year I hate to see summer go!  I love Christmas, but for me, summer is the "best time of the year".  Anyway,  our kids started school and have loved going.  It was a pretty smooth transition for almost everyone.  Our dog Annie loves driving them to school every morning.  As soon as I put my shoes on she follows me all over the house until we get in the car.  A few birthdays were sprinkled in, including our oldest daughter turning thirteen! 

September:  More birthdays.  Our son turned nine and the baby girl isn't a baby anymore, turning six this month.  Everyone moving full speed ahead as the school year begins to tick by one calendar date after another.  Jamie and I jump in with both feet getting to know parents and teachers at the schools the kids attend.  School and everything that goes with it has become our life now too.  Meeting people and making friends for the kids and ourselves, hanging out in the classroom and helping with fund raisers and living in our community.  The little girl started and fell in love with ballet this month.  She isn't the most graceful one but she tries hard and feels lovely in her leotard- precious.

October:  You were such a blur...the only things I remember much about  you was having my parents come for a visit, dressing up at the end and our oldest daughter going to her first dance, making me feel older than I like and prouder than I think I deserve.  We had a queen, a famous pirate and red riding hood briefly make an appearance at our house.  They looked awesome!

November:  Thankful, so thankful for so many things.  It was a good month to remember all we have and get to experience in this life.  We were able to travel with Jamie's mom to visit her brother and family in north Texas for Thanksgiving.  It was a much appreciated break from the usual.  The weather was terrific and everyone had a good time.  As always it was so great to get to be with family and rest, watch football and eat delicious food.  Thank you Jack and Judy for letting us come!

December:  You too are a blur...I can't believe you are almost over.  Two weeks with sick kids and the month just flies by even though, those were the longest two weeks Of.My.Life. Strep and Croup for the two youngest had me housebound and feeling the pressure of getting things ready for Christmas.  But, here it is regardless and I'm basically caught up, everyone is better, the kids completed their first semesters of school here and the year is almost complete.  Tonight we will welcome new friends and old into our home to celebrate the birth of the King of kings.  We will worship Him and eat traditional New Mexican food.  It is going to be great!

2013, you went by so quickly.  I will remember you fondly as the year that we jumped in with both feet and were not disappointed. We're looking forward to what 2014 will hold.

The Ups with the Downs

Isn't life just like a roller coaster?  It's amazing to me that we aren't just dizzy all the time, with that woozy feeling in the pit of our stomach.

Several people have asked me "So...what are you going to do with yourself now that the kids are all in school?"  I have to tell you that I have not had one normal day since we started school a month ago.  Between volunteering and taking kids from here to there, making cupcakes and bringing them to class, visiting with parents outside the school, picking up sick kids, helping with homework, going to open house events,  putting out all kinds of little fires, and doing all the regular things I do to keep our house running while also hosting people every weekend, not one quiet-sit with my feet up-watch HGTV-eating bonbons (where do you get bonbons?)-kind of day.  Confession- I did take a nap yesterday afternoon.  It was one of those fall into a coma for two hours kind of naps.  Thankfully, I woke in time to go get the kids from school and then take them to the park for a play date, come home and make a quick dinner before going to the oldest one's school for Open House, come home and finish homework, play with the little one, do showers, read bedtime stories, and  put everyone to bed. 

So my answer is "This"... "I am doing this"...and you know what, I kind of like it.  I am staying more busy now than I ever was with all of the kids at home.  It feels really chaotic sometimes but we are beginning to get into a groove.  We all have a lot going on both during the week and on the weekends but we're getting it all done and having a good time as a family while we're doing it.  We've met some great people this month and are building on those relationships.  I am enjoying it so much!

I must say, I could do without all the illness we've experienced since we've been here, but I know that it is just part of life.  You can either let it get you down or face it head on and move past it.  At the moment our oldest daughter has pneumonia.  I could easily be freaking out and worrying but it wouldn't help the situation. We're letting her rest and taking one day at a time. 

In the meantime, I will  help make popcorn for the weekly fundraiser at the elementary school today, make cupcakes to take to the little one's class tomorrow, shuttle her to ballet and back, try to feed everyone something healthy to eat for dinner...and the day will be done before I know it.  I guess I better get everyone up and going now...ready, set, GO!

First Day Jitters

Like for many families in our area, and around the country, the new school year has begun.  Our three kids have joined their classmates in new rooms with new teachers.  They're making new friends and getting accustomed to a new routine.  Wednesday was the first day for our oldest daughter and our son.  Despite some first day jitters, they did beautifully transitioning to a new setting and expectations.

Friday was much harder on me than I expected it to be, as I escorted our third born and final child to kindergarten.  I've only done this one other time with our firstborn eight years ago and I don't remember it being quite so sad.  I had a rough time both times letting my kiddos go into the unknown world of school.  It may have something to do with a few of the reasons we chose to homeschool for the past seven years in the first place.  I never really got used to not having her around during the day.  Dropping my son off for third grade wasn't quite so tough.  I never had to leave him as a fledgling five year old and hope for the best.  I have no doubt it would have torn at my heart just the same as it did for the girls.  I think having other little children crying for their parents did not make it any easier on me.  My little girl and most of her classmates sat quietly waiting for this thing called SCHOOL to begin while a few others struggled to hang in there.  I held back the tears until I reached the hall.  My girl was fine and I was a blubbering mess.  I really couldn't reach my car fast enough.  The first day of Kindergarten is tough...for the moms!

So we're off.  Yet another unknown thrown into motion in this wild adventure here in Santa Fe.  It is exciting and frightening but I feel a lot of relief knowing that all of my children are in safe places where they are going to learn as much about themselves and how to overcome obstacles as they are about the subjects they study in school. I have no doubt that they will make poor choices and learn from them, that they will have their hearts broken by someone they call a friend, that they will see and probably do things that I would not approve of.  It will not be easy to watch and experience, but nothing about parenting is easy.  I also know that they are wise and thoughtful and amazing people.   They will be able to practice compassion and kindness and will hopefully gain far more than they will lose.  We've done the best we could do to prepare them and now that it is here, I know they will do well.

I've worked myself out of a job...

It does feel strange to know that like all the mothers before me, I've worked myself out of at least part of my job.  Yes I still will be cooking AND cleaning AND shopping AND doing laundry AND dropping off AND picking up AND helping with homework AND shuttling here and there.  But despite all the ANDs, with no more small children at home, part of my job is complete.  It brings both a feeling of accomplishment and sadness as I watch my capable kids head off into a part of their life that I will only know about through their stories and recollections and hopefully not too many notes from the teacher.  I will get to be part of a fraction of their day instead of the whole.  It will be an adjustment for sure but one that I welcome whole heartedly (ok, maybe at least with most of my heart!). 

Here are the obligatory and AWESOME back to school photos from our first days of school this year:

Where did summer go?

At the beginning of the summer, we made a bucket list of things we would like to do together.  We've worked hard to fit it all in...100 Fun Things to Do this Summer!

I'd like to report that we finished them all...but ALAS, we have only completed about half of the tasks.  In my mind, that means we just need to keep working at it until we've reached our goal.  To keep having summer until the last task is complete.  I LOVE SUMMER!

Unfortunately, summer for us is nearly over.  It is August already.  Where did the summer go?  I know I feel this let down every year at this time...only to ramp up into the fall, which I also love for different reasons.  This year it feels a little different.  Usually we are prepping for school like everyone else but for us in the past several years that has included getting school supplies and also curriculum, prepping for co-op and getting ready to study hard at the kitchen table.  Not this year.  I am feeling mixed emotions, most of them happy and joyful.  My kids are so excited to head out into the big world and join the ranks of the friends they have yet to meet at public school.  Yesterday we loaded up the cart with all sorts of folders, paper, notebooks, pencils, tissues, and Clorox wipes and will gather the rest later today.  Oh, how I love school supplies! We checked off the items as we placed them in piles.  We threw in a few items that weren't on the list just for fun.  I've ordered the polos and purchased the pants/skirts required.  They are waiting in a neat pile to join the other clothes in the closet.  We've made sure old things that will work still fit.  I guess we are just about ready.  In less than two weeks, I'll be sending everyone off to SCHOOL!

In the meantime, we will be trying our best to knock a few more items off the Summer Fun bucket list.  Here are a few highlights from our attempts at summer fun:

Making Mud

More Mud

Even More Mud

Playing with Legos

Flying Kites

Baseball Pizza Party

Getting Wet and Staying Cool!

Farmer's Market with Friends

 

Camping

Hiking

 

Los Golandrinas

Picnic

Exploring

Climbing Trees

Getting out of the hot sun.

More Old Stuff

4D Movies

LEGOLAND Discovery Center

Rainforest Cafe

Rangers' Ballpark tour

In the dugout

Going to a Rangers game

Enjoying a hotdog

Watching the game he loves!

Enduring the heat!

If the Shoe Fits...

Ya know when you have a shoe that just fits perfectly, it's like putting on an old friend?  What happens when that old friend doesn't really fit anymore and starts to rub you the wrong way?

Or, when you fall in love with a shoe and bring it home but it never really fits and you wear it for awhile anyway because you think you love it so much?

Or, how about when the left shoe fits but the right shoe really doesn't? 

Or, when the shoe just never really was right for you in the first place and you gave it a shot because you thought it was the right thing to do?

I've worn all these shoes.

We took on a particular shoe at our house about seven years ago.  It was before our third child was even born.  This shoe included so much effort and time and energy etc... that it really took on a life of it's own and at many times I especially didn't know how to identify myself without it.   It became a shoe that I wore out of habit and all kinds of expectations.  I really wanted it to fit and there were many days when it fit beautifully. Some days were like ballet shoes and we'd glide across the floor as smooth as can be. There were many days when that bad boy gave me blisters.  Even  more days where it felt like the heaviest work boot you can imagine.  Still others felt like we had put on the lightweight runners and we were in it for the long haul.  Regardless, it was our shoe and we put it on day after day and wore it through all kinds of weather.  We loved that shoe, we really did. 

Like most shoes, our shoe has a name.  At our house we simply call it "school", others label it "homeschool".  Many people are wearing these shoes these days and they've become pretty common and for the most part accepted, even popular. At our house we've reached a point in life where we've outgrown ours (at least for now).  Of course I'll keep it around, in the back of a closet (or taking up half our garage) for awhile, just in case we decide it fits again.  But, I rather doubt that we'll be wearing it much anymore.  At the beginning of the adventure of homeschooling, we said we'd take it one year at a time.  At that time we had one in school and one in diapers and the last one but a hope.  Each year we would evaluate what life looked like and see if the shoe still fit.  A few years ago that shoe was looking pretty ragged.  It was about the time our second child was starting first grade.  We knew our life would be changing soon so we stuck it out for a few more years just to keep the continuity.  At the beginning of last year, that shoe was so tight and tattered I just about threw it out but we decided it could last for just a little bit longer. It would have been difficult to start a year in one shoe only to move and begin again in another.   I'll be honest and say that it was a chore to put that baby on day after day to finish out the year.  It became an all out challenge for everyone just to make it to the end. 

So we're trying on a new pair of shoes in about a month.  These shoes are shiny and exciting.  The younger members of the family can't wait to slip their feet into them even to the point of saying they wish it were coming up sooner. ("Hello, don't forget about summer!")  I'm a little more cautious but also curious to find out how these new shoes fit.  I have yet to choose the pair I'll be wearing while their feet dance and play at "real school".  As it gets a little closer there are days when I feel like we should pull the old shoes out and at least give them a fair shot, that maybe it would be easier to stick with the ones we know.  But the new ones are hanging there ready to be worn.  It is time. 

I know there are those out there who might say that we've given up or that we're doing the wrong thing.  There are many more that are cheering us on as we put on our Sunday best.  I guess my sentiment to anyone who may be tempted to disagree with our shoe choice is to please not judge us unless you've walked a mile in our shoes. 

Just an ordinary day

There are days that are just worth it.  Worth the trouble of getting it all done or letting it wait while you play a little.  Worth the effort of holding the fort down while Dad is away.  Worth the entertaining of little people.  Some days are just a little bit special.  Nothing really amazing happened today but the ordinary things can sometimes be fantastic all by themselves.  We had a pay it forward kind of day. 

First, our neighbor helped me air up the wading pool.  Oh, it has been hot here lately.  I am not complaining because I love the heat.  Summer is the best! But, we could use more than a little bit of rain around here.  I  just knew it was going to be another scorcher when I was running the swamp cooler as soon as my feet hit the floor today.  It was so nice of our neighbor to bring over his air compressor and pump that pool up so I could fill it with crisp cold water to soak our toes in.  Just after I got the water going, one of our former students came by and brought a very special surprise to our littlest girl...It was Molly, her American Girl doll, and a bunch of special things that went with her. Wow!  What a treasure for our almost six year old.  She hasn't stopped playing with her all day. She and her brother dubbed today Molly's Gotcha Day and wrote the date down in the little journal that came with her.  So much fun!  As Kaitlyn passed down her doll and showed each piece of clothes and other items, she shared more than a toy, she shared her memories with our girl and she shared her heart.  What an incredible gift.  It made me think of the last scene in Toy Story 3 where Andy is passing down his special toys...in fact, it was exactly like that only better.  It was a little bit magical.

Then, this afternoon we took what I was thinking would be a quick trip over to see the kids' Gram at the assisted living center where she lives.  After chatting with her for a little bit, we headed out, only to be stopped by Mary, another resident, who called us out of the hall into the activity room where she was hanging out with several other residents.  We met Mary earlier this week...I wasn't sure she remembered us but she so wanted to visit with my kids.  She reminded us of her name and then asked the kids to dance.  You see earlier this week when we met Mary there was a pianist in the common area that was playing some fun old tunes.  The kids ended up doing a little ballroom dancing with each other.  It was so cute and funny seeing them twirl around with each other.  They had fun doing it and the ladies sitting around watching them thought they were adorable.  It made their day.  So today they did a quick dance and we said goodbye to Mary and her friends, smiles all around.  We passed through their lovely courtyard and made it to the end only to run into Shammy, the 13 year old  yellow lab and her owner.  Shammy loves kids and my kids love her.  We spent several minutes petting and loving on Shammy and visiting with her owner.  What a sweet lady.  After saying goodbye to Shammy, we headed back inside to check out and we ran into Duke.  Duke is another old pup who's part blue heeler.  His owner told us today that he is 14 years old.  Today Duke was hanging out with Ivan, a part basset part dachshund.  What a cute dog he is!  The kids walked them both around the room on their leashes and scratched their tummies.  I visited with their owners, both former teachers and had the best time chatting with them.  Finally, after about an hour from when we arrived, we signed out.  On the way to the car, my almost nine year old boy said that this was his favorite place to go in all of Santa Fe.  He said the best part about it was playing with the dogs and helping the people to smile.  I love that.  I had to agree with him.  It is a pretty special place.

Tonight we took a little drive around our neighborhood, saw the beautiful sunset and chatted about what a great day we had today.  We came home and the kids put Molly to bed.  They tucked her in and then we read the first chapter of her first book.  Just an ordinary ending to an ordinary day.  One I probably won't soon forget.

Liberation

Perhaps with a title like that I should save this for Independence Day but, I've had this blog post rattling around in my head for some time now.   I realized this morning after having a vivid dream about this topic that it was time to get it out of there and onto here.  Here is my warning to you...reading this is likely to make you very uncomfortable.  I am going to to do my very best to leave it raw, to try not to censor the importance out of it but it is going to be very hard for me not to fine tune it and fine tune it until it says exactly what I want it to say.  I am also going to step on some toes.  I will not name names but you will know who you are, whether I know you or not, you will find yourself here somewhere.  Since my youngest daughter was about two she liked to throw around the word "awkward" at the most appropriate times.  Then she got in the habit of saying "that was the first awkward of the day!"  It made us laugh (on the inside and out loud) to hear her small voice declare what everyone around her was thinking.  Now we use her line all the time.  This subject is definitely "awkward"  and believe me it is early here so it is the first one of the day.  Let me start at the beginning.

I am a church planter's wife (well, that IS awkward!).  Which also makes me a church planter myself.  Not too many people can say that.  It is an interesting profession/calling. In some circles, I might as well have said I am a prostitute...that is the kind of reaction that some people have.   I tell you that before we head back to the beginning because I think that it is important to note where I have come when returning to the start.  I have long known that there are two kinds of people, those who appear to be very comfortable in their skin, and those who are clearly not.  There might be a third kind in that I believe that there are a few people who are very comfortable being exactly who they are, but the rest of us fall somewhere on the spectrum of trying or failing to be comfortable with ourselves.  For most of my life in my opinion I have been trying but many times failing.  Along with this, comes comparison.  It is human nature and a very fine skill to compare two things and choose one that is "better".  For instance, take two apples, one is smaller but a deep, inviting red. It is shiny and it has a crisp look to it.  The other may be bigger but it is sort of dull and not very red. It may even have a worm hole in the side and just doesn't appear very crunchy.  Which one do you really want to take a bite of?  Comparison, it's a good thing.  Or let's just get down and dirty.  There are two pieces of chocolate cake.  One is nearly as big as the plate it sits upon,  the other a thin sliver begging to be called a piece. The big one has a load of thick, sweet frosting on top, the other looks like it has been licked clean by a happy five year old.  It's a no brainer, when given a choice we choose the "better" one.  Comparison is an important skill to learn, but many times we tend to over use it and use it against ourselves.  This happens everyday in every circle of relationship in our lives.  We make a million comparisons every day.

As a small child, I found myself comparing the concept of who I was to just about everyone and found me never really measuring up.  I have always been a thinker and someone who watches and learns quickly and like most kids who aren't the "cool" or "popular" kid I compared myself to, I tended to avoid sitations where I might be forced to interact with "them".  Let's face it, things don't really change all that much after people become adults.  We are still constantly comparing and constantly trying not only to feel good about who we are but also to appear that we do to others.  Conditioning from early in life has told us that it is "better" to fit in and to appear to be comfortable than to stand out and look awkward.  This is especially important during those turbulant teen years when "awkward" is a way of life for everyone, but some people pull it off better than others.  I did a mediocre job at best.  Looking back, I'd say I barely scraped by.  Some of this had to do with my "lot in life", who I was because of my family or who else I associated with, but some of it was because I just never really REALLY ever felt like I fit in to any circle.  I was just different. Yes, I had friends and some of them were even awesome, talented, funny people.  But, in my very core, I knew that I was different in ways that I can't describe.  It didn't change once I entered adulthood.  Sometimes my choices made me the odd one out and sometimes circumstances chose for me. (And when I did fit it was because I was making some really bad choices but that is another post for another day.) Either way, in most circles and in most situations, I don't fit.  This is not a pity party.  It is simply what I know to be true about myself. 

The next part of this is going to sound strange to many people who read it and believe me it is not meant to be arrogant or self serving or to freak anyone out.  I believe that God made me different for a reason, in fact He told me so.  ("Oh my gosh, she just said that God has been talking to her."  Yeah, He did and does sometimes and I crave those moments, more than shiny apples or chocolate cake.) It was on a day that I was struggling with our next step in ministry and He said loud and clear to me "THIS is what I made you for."  The reason He made me different is to prepare me for what I am doing now.  He made me uncomfortable in my life circumstances so that I would lean only on what I know to be true about myself and about Him.  The reason He made me uncomfortable with who I am, is so He can change me into who He wants me to be.  He did all this because He has a bigger plan for my life.  He did all of this because He wants to use me right now.  Being a pastor's wife is many times a challenge.  It can be lonely. It can be frustrating.  It can be many things awkward and uncomfortable.  Being a Church Planter's wife just kicks it up a notch and screams "YOU DO NOT FIT!"  If I hadn't felt that way all my life, if God hadn't been preparing me, that might be really hard.  Instead, it feels really right.  I feel comfortable with it, maybe for the first time in my life, it is okay to not fit.

"Why are you even writing about this?  It is a little creepy and wierd." Definitely awkward.  It's because I don't think I'm the only one. Maybe it is you.  Maybe you just don't fit for a reason.  I also don't think you have to be married to a pastor or a church planter to be different and used by God.  I think that He wants to use all your life experiences in the past "For The Greater Good" (to quote the Incredibles).  He wants to use you to impact your world and to bring glory to Himself.  He wants you to FIT WITH HIM.  It really doesn't matter about all the other circles in your life, He wants you in His circle and He wants you to infect the circles in your life where you have a voice and an influence.  No matter how much you want to, you can't avoid interacting with the "cool" kids anymore and you can't run from situations where you don't fit.  He wants you (and me) to invade them and shake people up and stand out for Him.  The people around us need us to be different so that they can see Him living within us.  So that when we make mistakes and apologize, when we live transparently in front of them, they will see God.  You don't fit?  Good.  You weren't meant to fit.  How liberating is that?

Please don't miss this:

http://www.youtube.com/user/brittnicolevevo?v=p9PjrtcHJPo