It's a Dog's Life

MOVING
From Annie's Perspective

I just don't get it.  It seems to me that we just did this.  This time last week, things were going just fine...I got up, went outside, spending all morning following my mom around so she won't forget to take me for a ride when the kids go to those places they won't let me inside.  I don't mind sitting in the car.  It is better than being left at home, or even worse, the backyard!  I'm a civilized girl.  I belong where the people are. I spend the afternoon following mom from room to room, taking naps from time to time in all my favorite spots until it is time to pick up the kids.  As soon as she puts her shoes on, I have to stay on her heels so she won't forget that I want to go too.  In the evening, I don't stray too far from the kitchen so I can be there to grab anything that might hit the floor.  I try to be nonchalant about it so I don't get kicked out.  I make sure and finish off the breakfast that I was given earlier in the day so that I can bark like I'm starving for the dinner that I will leave part of until morning. Then I'm off to bed.  I do my best to guard the kids for awhile but end up sleeping on my own bed in the living room. You know, it's not a bad life.

Then a few days ago, out came the boxes.  I hate them.  They get in the way and take up all the good places to lay down.  I have to keep moving to stay out of the way.  Then they start filling them up with all the stuff, all over the house.  The tape dispenser is so noisy. It scares me.  The furniture is getting pushed around and then disappearing altogether.  It is freaky!  I have to stay near people so they don't forget that I'm here.  I don't want to get left behind when this place is completely empty, which is happening fast.  This is not my first move you know! So what if I lay in the doorway and people keep having to tell me to move out of the way? Yeah, I did roll my eyes a few times and let out more than a few annoyed sighs.  A dog has to do what a dog has to do. 

What, you are not taking me on the next twenty car trips?  I don't care that there isn't an inch of space to sit in.  Why do the kids get to go and not me?  It isn't fair!  You saved space for them when you loaded the car!  I see how you are.  I don't believe it,  you're putting me in the backyard instead?

Oh, I get to go this time.  Lucky me!  So this is where you're putting all the stuff.  Did you bring my bed, my bowl, my food?  Ah, you did.  I guess this isn't such a bad place.  Although, I had just gotten used to the other one.  Ok, I will go to bed and guard the kids.  I hope we're here to stay for awhile and I hope we can get rid of these boxes.  I hate them.  What?  You still have to unpack them?  They're going to be here for awhile.  I'll just have to follow you around for the next few weeks to make sure that it all gets done properly.  You'll think that I'm napping, but I've got my eyes on you. You're rearranging the furniture again?  Make up your mind already!

Yes!...You're putting your shoes on...I'm ready to go.  Please take me this time...please take me this time...Please take me!

Time for a change...AGAIN?

With boxes scattered around me, EVERYWHERE, I'm wondering (yet, again)when will life ever be normal? Then I realize, maybe THIS is normal...organized chaos.  This is what a messy life looks like.  Moving is just part of it.

Today I will meet with the kindergarten teacher who's class I recently pulled my daughter out of to homeschool her for the rest of the year.  Messy.  Without going into too many details, it just wasn't the environment we were hoping for her first school experience to be.  It has been a very difficult first semester for us and this has been a difficult decision to come to. I haven't slept much, wrestling with the issues of the situation and trying to coming up with a good solution.  It has been one of those parenting challenges that come up all the time in homes everywhere.  One where any decision that is made could have lasting consequences, but not making a decision is not an option.  When none of the choices seemed all that great, I just wanted one that I could feel peace about. I've been praying for an opportunity to show grace while also giving protection.  I think it is going to work out that way.  My daughter doesn't really understand what's going on.  This is confusing for her and we're doing our best to make it work and help her through it.  Her main concern is still getting to see her friends of course, so I'm trying to make that happen when we can.

And yes, over the weekend, we moved. AGAIN.  Sort of.  We still have a bunch of stuff to organize and move from the old house to this new one.  It already feels more like a nest than a resort vacation home with all of our stuff in it to me, even with the boxes scattered everywhere and the feeling that I'll never find anything again.  Our new garage is loaded to the rafters with all the stuff we need to let loose of, so that the next move...may it be a few years away...won't be as overwhelming as this one (or the last).  It is hard to part with things (and people, really) that have been important in the past, or have the potential to be useful in the future.  I keep trying to repurpose things and make them usable again.  Sometimes, it is okay to let them go.  Except, that one thing...oh and that one...and that one.

You may recall that less than a year ago we moved from our beloved Los Alamos to Santa Fe.  At that time we took on a higher rent than we were comfortable with in order to be in the neighborhood we were interested in planting our lives and our church.  It was, at that time, the only house available to rent when we needed it.  Living there gave us a fantastic experience, meeting people we otherwise would not know now.  However, we knew that when our lease was up we would need to find something else, with a little more comfortable rent.  So here we are, in a different house in the same general area with all our stuff piled around.  It will get sorted and it will get put into a usable order...hopefully soon for my sanity's sake.  I will find the knives and other utensils that somehow ended up in the garage instead of the kitchen, and the countless other things that I don't even know are misplaced yet.  (I think there are some missing potatoes, somewhere.  Frightening!) We will get the other house emptied completely and cleaned up.  It is just the process of it that is so messy. 

Oh, and to top it off, next week is the science fair for our third grader.  Jamie asked me a few weeks ago when the science fair was.  I told him the dates and he said exactly what I was really thinking,  "Well that's crappy timing!"  I had to remind him that they didn't consult our schedule and purposefully put the science fair in the middle of our move.  We've He's finished the experiment.  Now we I just need to locate the materials in the cardboard jungle and we HE needs to finish the presentation.  It will get done somehow.

Ah Normal, whoever you are, I am still searching for you.  Don't lose hope.  I will find you, and in doing so, maybe I'll find the knives, the potatoes (preferably sooner than later), the science board and myself as well.

2013 in Review

I don't think that  I will be getting a Christmas letter out again this year...I think it has been at least five years since I was that ambitious about doing it.  The silly thing is, it will take nearly as much effort to write this blog post as it would to compose a simple letter.  So, I think my solution is to make my post my Christmas letter and call it good.  Sometimes good enough is good enough.

Our year started out a little on the wild side.  I can't say that in most ways it has slowed down much at all.  I guess we kind of like living with a lot going on and enjoy the adventure, soon it just starts to feel normal.  Of course we have plenty of lazy days to mix in there but even then, it seems like we are always thinking or planning for the next thing.  Such is life.  You will probably notice that much of what we did this year revolves around the ministry of our church.  That is because, it has become our whole life, and I don't say that in a negative way.  We ARE the church and He has chosen us to be in this place for "such a time as this."  We count it an honor and most of the time a joy to serve with our whole lives and it involves almost everything that we participate in.   Here is a year in review of the happenings at our house:

Thank you Los Alamos.  We made a lot of great discoveries and memories with you!

January:  Most of you may recall that we sold our house in lovely Los Alamos, a bit of a miracle due to the nature of the market, the neighborhood that it was located and the interest of realtors to show it.  The buyer chose to make his move right around Christmas last year, thankfully we were out of town visiting Jamie's mom, so he had all kinds of access to have it looked over from top to bottom and bottom to top...a very thorough purchase on his part.  He picked it, HOORAY!  We couldn't be more thankful for the choice he made because it allowed us to move forward with our own move without having the house to hold us back. 

Our new home for now in Santa Fe, New Mexico

February:  Our family of five plus one pooch loaded up everything we own and traveled an hour south to the stunning city of Santa Fe.  We could not have accomplished this without the incredible help of a few dozen of our friends.  I think they were sad to see us go but equally glad to be finished lifting and dragging and hauling all of our stuff...note to self and warning to others-having 800 square feet of storage space in your basement for ten+ years can be a very bad thing.  Two weeks post move Jamie's mom had a stroke  that greatly affected her short term memory and she spent several days in the hospital in Albuquerque before being moved to a rehab facility here in Santa Fe.  It was a little crazy there for a few weeks, not knowing what this would look like for her and for all of us.  Certainly God knew what He was doing and knowing that, has made the transition easier to handle.

March: Our family began to settle in to this new life.  We met a few people, started meeting on Sunday nights in our home for LifePoint Church...A Different Kind of Church for the City Different.  We had really put feet to the decision that we had made to follow God in His plan for us to plant a new church here.  Now what?

 

April:  We had our first semi-public outreach event in our neighborhood  by doing a brunch/service/ egg hunt at our home.  We invited the neighbors directly surrounding us to come and eat and hang out with us. We had some fantastic friends and family from out of town that made this event even more fun, and though not too many neighbors participated, we got a good taste of what doing this type of ministry would be like.  The following week a mission team from Los Alamos joined us to spend their Spring Break working with us to start meeting our community.  We held a block party event at the end of that week that was a lot of fun and we were able to meet even more of our neighbors.  During this time, Jamie's mom made the decision to continue to live in Santa Fe and we helped her move to an assisted living center here. 

May:  This month brought another exciting neighborhood event.  Our church did a Kite Festival in our neighborhood. About thirty kids and their families came to make and fly kites with us.  Jamie spent  a lot of his time hunting down the unfortunate kites whose strings either broke or were let go.  We learned a lot about flexibility and had a great time with our kids. May also brought baseball...the game the boys in this family love.  Our boy played on a local team and had a great time.  We got to meet even more families through this experience and got a better feel for the people of our new town.  There's nothing like a kids' sport event to show the true colors of parents, coaches and kids.  I'm proud to say that our coaches were kind and supportive and helped everyone learn a lot about the game.  It was a great season!

June:  Oh summer!  How I miss you, as the beautiful snow falls outside my window.  June brought a lot of work mixed with fun.  We held several events and had a few canceled at the last minute by people who aren't sure about our presence here.  We learned even more about being flexible and that our reactions to people who may not agree with us speak volumes about who we are.  We had a couple of movie nights in another neighborhood near us and learned that it is always good to know when the sprinklers will be coming on! 

July:  July is the beginning of birthday season around here...within two months from the 14th of July to the 12th of September, every family member is celebrated.  It can be fantastic, exhausting and unfortunately expensive...I for one breathe a sigh of relief when it is finished.  Jamie and I celebrate together since our birthdays are a day apart.  We all took a quick trip to Texas this month, got to tour the Rangers' stadium and go to a game.  The kids and I hung out, swam, shopped, watched movies, and went to the LEGOLAND Discovery Center while Jamie attended a conference.  It was a great little getaway.

August:  You always bring the bitter and the sweet!  The bitter for me is the end of summer. The sweet for the kids this year was getting to go to school.  I guess in many ways it is sweet for me too, but every year I hate to see summer go!  I love Christmas, but for me, summer is the "best time of the year".  Anyway,  our kids started school and have loved going.  It was a pretty smooth transition for almost everyone.  Our dog Annie loves driving them to school every morning.  As soon as I put my shoes on she follows me all over the house until we get in the car.  A few birthdays were sprinkled in, including our oldest daughter turning thirteen! 

September:  More birthdays.  Our son turned nine and the baby girl isn't a baby anymore, turning six this month.  Everyone moving full speed ahead as the school year begins to tick by one calendar date after another.  Jamie and I jump in with both feet getting to know parents and teachers at the schools the kids attend.  School and everything that goes with it has become our life now too.  Meeting people and making friends for the kids and ourselves, hanging out in the classroom and helping with fund raisers and living in our community.  The little girl started and fell in love with ballet this month.  She isn't the most graceful one but she tries hard and feels lovely in her leotard- precious.

October:  You were such a blur...the only things I remember much about  you was having my parents come for a visit, dressing up at the end and our oldest daughter going to her first dance, making me feel older than I like and prouder than I think I deserve.  We had a queen, a famous pirate and red riding hood briefly make an appearance at our house.  They looked awesome!

November:  Thankful, so thankful for so many things.  It was a good month to remember all we have and get to experience in this life.  We were able to travel with Jamie's mom to visit her brother and family in north Texas for Thanksgiving.  It was a much appreciated break from the usual.  The weather was terrific and everyone had a good time.  As always it was so great to get to be with family and rest, watch football and eat delicious food.  Thank you Jack and Judy for letting us come!

December:  You too are a blur...I can't believe you are almost over.  Two weeks with sick kids and the month just flies by even though, those were the longest two weeks Of.My.Life. Strep and Croup for the two youngest had me housebound and feeling the pressure of getting things ready for Christmas.  But, here it is regardless and I'm basically caught up, everyone is better, the kids completed their first semesters of school here and the year is almost complete.  Tonight we will welcome new friends and old into our home to celebrate the birth of the King of kings.  We will worship Him and eat traditional New Mexican food.  It is going to be great!

2013, you went by so quickly.  I will remember you fondly as the year that we jumped in with both feet and were not disappointed. We're looking forward to what 2014 will hold.

The Ups with the Downs

Isn't life just like a roller coaster?  It's amazing to me that we aren't just dizzy all the time, with that woozy feeling in the pit of our stomach.

Several people have asked me "So...what are you going to do with yourself now that the kids are all in school?"  I have to tell you that I have not had one normal day since we started school a month ago.  Between volunteering and taking kids from here to there, making cupcakes and bringing them to class, visiting with parents outside the school, picking up sick kids, helping with homework, going to open house events,  putting out all kinds of little fires, and doing all the regular things I do to keep our house running while also hosting people every weekend, not one quiet-sit with my feet up-watch HGTV-eating bonbons (where do you get bonbons?)-kind of day.  Confession- I did take a nap yesterday afternoon.  It was one of those fall into a coma for two hours kind of naps.  Thankfully, I woke in time to go get the kids from school and then take them to the park for a play date, come home and make a quick dinner before going to the oldest one's school for Open House, come home and finish homework, play with the little one, do showers, read bedtime stories, and  put everyone to bed. 

So my answer is "This"... "I am doing this"...and you know what, I kind of like it.  I am staying more busy now than I ever was with all of the kids at home.  It feels really chaotic sometimes but we are beginning to get into a groove.  We all have a lot going on both during the week and on the weekends but we're getting it all done and having a good time as a family while we're doing it.  We've met some great people this month and are building on those relationships.  I am enjoying it so much!

I must say, I could do without all the illness we've experienced since we've been here, but I know that it is just part of life.  You can either let it get you down or face it head on and move past it.  At the moment our oldest daughter has pneumonia.  I could easily be freaking out and worrying but it wouldn't help the situation. We're letting her rest and taking one day at a time. 

In the meantime, I will  help make popcorn for the weekly fundraiser at the elementary school today, make cupcakes to take to the little one's class tomorrow, shuttle her to ballet and back, try to feed everyone something healthy to eat for dinner...and the day will be done before I know it.  I guess I better get everyone up and going now...ready, set, GO!

First Day Jitters

Like for many families in our area, and around the country, the new school year has begun.  Our three kids have joined their classmates in new rooms with new teachers.  They're making new friends and getting accustomed to a new routine.  Wednesday was the first day for our oldest daughter and our son.  Despite some first day jitters, they did beautifully transitioning to a new setting and expectations.

Friday was much harder on me than I expected it to be, as I escorted our third born and final child to kindergarten.  I've only done this one other time with our firstborn eight years ago and I don't remember it being quite so sad.  I had a rough time both times letting my kiddos go into the unknown world of school.  It may have something to do with a few of the reasons we chose to homeschool for the past seven years in the first place.  I never really got used to not having her around during the day.  Dropping my son off for third grade wasn't quite so tough.  I never had to leave him as a fledgling five year old and hope for the best.  I have no doubt it would have torn at my heart just the same as it did for the girls.  I think having other little children crying for their parents did not make it any easier on me.  My little girl and most of her classmates sat quietly waiting for this thing called SCHOOL to begin while a few others struggled to hang in there.  I held back the tears until I reached the hall.  My girl was fine and I was a blubbering mess.  I really couldn't reach my car fast enough.  The first day of Kindergarten is tough...for the moms!

So we're off.  Yet another unknown thrown into motion in this wild adventure here in Santa Fe.  It is exciting and frightening but I feel a lot of relief knowing that all of my children are in safe places where they are going to learn as much about themselves and how to overcome obstacles as they are about the subjects they study in school. I have no doubt that they will make poor choices and learn from them, that they will have their hearts broken by someone they call a friend, that they will see and probably do things that I would not approve of.  It will not be easy to watch and experience, but nothing about parenting is easy.  I also know that they are wise and thoughtful and amazing people.   They will be able to practice compassion and kindness and will hopefully gain far more than they will lose.  We've done the best we could do to prepare them and now that it is here, I know they will do well.

I've worked myself out of a job...

It does feel strange to know that like all the mothers before me, I've worked myself out of at least part of my job.  Yes I still will be cooking AND cleaning AND shopping AND doing laundry AND dropping off AND picking up AND helping with homework AND shuttling here and there.  But despite all the ANDs, with no more small children at home, part of my job is complete.  It brings both a feeling of accomplishment and sadness as I watch my capable kids head off into a part of their life that I will only know about through their stories and recollections and hopefully not too many notes from the teacher.  I will get to be part of a fraction of their day instead of the whole.  It will be an adjustment for sure but one that I welcome whole heartedly (ok, maybe at least with most of my heart!). 

Here are the obligatory and AWESOME back to school photos from our first days of school this year:

Where did summer go?

At the beginning of the summer, we made a bucket list of things we would like to do together.  We've worked hard to fit it all in...100 Fun Things to Do this Summer!

I'd like to report that we finished them all...but ALAS, we have only completed about half of the tasks.  In my mind, that means we just need to keep working at it until we've reached our goal.  To keep having summer until the last task is complete.  I LOVE SUMMER!

Unfortunately, summer for us is nearly over.  It is August already.  Where did the summer go?  I know I feel this let down every year at this time...only to ramp up into the fall, which I also love for different reasons.  This year it feels a little different.  Usually we are prepping for school like everyone else but for us in the past several years that has included getting school supplies and also curriculum, prepping for co-op and getting ready to study hard at the kitchen table.  Not this year.  I am feeling mixed emotions, most of them happy and joyful.  My kids are so excited to head out into the big world and join the ranks of the friends they have yet to meet at public school.  Yesterday we loaded up the cart with all sorts of folders, paper, notebooks, pencils, tissues, and Clorox wipes and will gather the rest later today.  Oh, how I love school supplies! We checked off the items as we placed them in piles.  We threw in a few items that weren't on the list just for fun.  I've ordered the polos and purchased the pants/skirts required.  They are waiting in a neat pile to join the other clothes in the closet.  We've made sure old things that will work still fit.  I guess we are just about ready.  In less than two weeks, I'll be sending everyone off to SCHOOL!

In the meantime, we will be trying our best to knock a few more items off the Summer Fun bucket list.  Here are a few highlights from our attempts at summer fun:

Making Mud

More Mud

Even More Mud

Playing with Legos

Flying Kites

Baseball Pizza Party

Getting Wet and Staying Cool!

Farmer's Market with Friends

 

Camping

Hiking

 

Los Golandrinas

Picnic

Exploring

Climbing Trees

Getting out of the hot sun.

More Old Stuff

4D Movies

LEGOLAND Discovery Center

Rainforest Cafe

Rangers' Ballpark tour

In the dugout

Going to a Rangers game

Enjoying a hotdog

Watching the game he loves!

Enduring the heat!

If the Shoe Fits...

Ya know when you have a shoe that just fits perfectly, it's like putting on an old friend?  What happens when that old friend doesn't really fit anymore and starts to rub you the wrong way?

Or, when you fall in love with a shoe and bring it home but it never really fits and you wear it for awhile anyway because you think you love it so much?

Or, how about when the left shoe fits but the right shoe really doesn't? 

Or, when the shoe just never really was right for you in the first place and you gave it a shot because you thought it was the right thing to do?

I've worn all these shoes.

We took on a particular shoe at our house about seven years ago.  It was before our third child was even born.  This shoe included so much effort and time and energy etc... that it really took on a life of it's own and at many times I especially didn't know how to identify myself without it.   It became a shoe that I wore out of habit and all kinds of expectations.  I really wanted it to fit and there were many days when it fit beautifully. Some days were like ballet shoes and we'd glide across the floor as smooth as can be. There were many days when that bad boy gave me blisters.  Even  more days where it felt like the heaviest work boot you can imagine.  Still others felt like we had put on the lightweight runners and we were in it for the long haul.  Regardless, it was our shoe and we put it on day after day and wore it through all kinds of weather.  We loved that shoe, we really did. 

Like most shoes, our shoe has a name.  At our house we simply call it "school", others label it "homeschool".  Many people are wearing these shoes these days and they've become pretty common and for the most part accepted, even popular. At our house we've reached a point in life where we've outgrown ours (at least for now).  Of course I'll keep it around, in the back of a closet (or taking up half our garage) for awhile, just in case we decide it fits again.  But, I rather doubt that we'll be wearing it much anymore.  At the beginning of the adventure of homeschooling, we said we'd take it one year at a time.  At that time we had one in school and one in diapers and the last one but a hope.  Each year we would evaluate what life looked like and see if the shoe still fit.  A few years ago that shoe was looking pretty ragged.  It was about the time our second child was starting first grade.  We knew our life would be changing soon so we stuck it out for a few more years just to keep the continuity.  At the beginning of last year, that shoe was so tight and tattered I just about threw it out but we decided it could last for just a little bit longer. It would have been difficult to start a year in one shoe only to move and begin again in another.   I'll be honest and say that it was a chore to put that baby on day after day to finish out the year.  It became an all out challenge for everyone just to make it to the end. 

So we're trying on a new pair of shoes in about a month.  These shoes are shiny and exciting.  The younger members of the family can't wait to slip their feet into them even to the point of saying they wish it were coming up sooner. ("Hello, don't forget about summer!")  I'm a little more cautious but also curious to find out how these new shoes fit.  I have yet to choose the pair I'll be wearing while their feet dance and play at "real school".  As it gets a little closer there are days when I feel like we should pull the old shoes out and at least give them a fair shot, that maybe it would be easier to stick with the ones we know.  But the new ones are hanging there ready to be worn.  It is time. 

I know there are those out there who might say that we've given up or that we're doing the wrong thing.  There are many more that are cheering us on as we put on our Sunday best.  I guess my sentiment to anyone who may be tempted to disagree with our shoe choice is to please not judge us unless you've walked a mile in our shoes.