The Long Goodbye
For several months we have been calling our life the "the long goodbye" because for about the last year we have been trying to transition between living here to moving there. Several years ago now, we started telling people we are close to, that someday we would be moving on from here to plant a church. Someday is now here and we are still living in the midst of that transition. I expect that the reality of the situation won't really hit until we've actually been there for awhile. Of course we do have to get there first.
House Update:
We are almost completely done with the sale of our house! A buyer emerged toward the middle of December. We had an offer just before Christmas. We countered the offer and he accepted it. He had the inspection done on December 27th and has been having a variety of people come make estimates on repairs the first few weeks of this month. We went into the formal contract phase this week. Barring any unforeseen complications, we should be closing on our house here on February 15th. Unfortunately, because this is a difficult market, we are not going to be making enough on the house here to be able to put a downpayment on something there. We do feel fortunate to be able to walk away without being completely upsidedown, but I have to say it is a bit of a disappointment.
Bad News/Good News
The bad news is, we are having a difficult time finding something affordable to rent in the area that we feel called to work. There are many factors as we move there that we feel need to fall into place and they just haven't yet. That news could be worse if there weren't good news to go along with it. The good news is that we don't have to be out of our house on February 15th if we don't have another place to live yet. The buyer doesn't need to live here until the summer and will be extending us an occupancy agreement should we need it. The trouble is, we are more than ready to be there and not here, so we would love not to need it.
"Who goes there?"
Some very exciting news is that we've already begun to minister in south Santa Fe (there). We have been holding church services for the past few weeks at our friends' home there and it has been very encouraging. Building new relationships there has only made it more evident to us how much we need to be there to do all that we are called to do. While we are so thankful for the many incredible relationships we have built here, it is time for us to move forward.
"I Don't Know"
These are the words that I find myself saying far too often these days. I know that I am tired of saying them so I can't even fathom how tired my kids are to hear them. "When are we moving there?" "I don't know." "Where are we going to live there?" "I don't know." It is hard for me so I know it is much more difficult for them. The great news is that I know who does know and I can trust Him. He has a plan for us there, and I need to remind myself everyday when I'm feeling discouraged that His ways are higher than my ways. Some days aren't as hard as others. Thank goodness!
Limbo Continues
So, do we pack like we are moving there next week or do we relax and enjoy the remainder of our time here? It is a hard balance. I've been working on packing things we don't use everyday but I don't want to live in a carboard jungle for too long. I've been trying to plan sleepovers, play dates and get togethers with special friends (both mine and theirs) so that this transition is fun too. I'm hoping when it is all said and done, we will get to have all these memories stored up for the times when it isn't so easy there, because I know there will be days when we really miss it here. It would be wrong not to feel that way about a place that we have called home for so long and for people that we have considered family here.
I think maybe this describes best how we feel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m-kbBamg_U
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
Not Enough Words
There are just not enough words to describe how I feel about her. Today is her day. She would be turning 93. I've found it difficult to bring myself to write this post because I want so much to honor her with it. I don't want to be too wordy but simple and warm and welcoming. That is who she was. But, there are just things that I want to say about her, to give a picture of who she was to me. And, I'm finding that there just aren't enough words to say all that I feel when I think of Grandma.
When I think of her I think of:
-Welcome. As a little kid I can remember driving for days to get to her house. We would stop at different relatives' houses to sleep and visit, but the goal was to get to the farm. Occasionally, we would go into town first which only prolonged our wait. I am terrible about direction and to this day, couldn't find the place if I had to, but I could feel it inside me like butterflies. We would round a corner and pass by some familiar houses, groves of trees or farm equipment and there it would be. Waiting and looking just like last time. It had the longest gravel driveway imaginable that crunched under the weight of the car. I always wanted to jump out of the car and run the rest of the way, thinking I could somehow get there sooner, because the last few seconds were so hard. There she would be to welcome us, smiling through her tears of joy. I could see her bite her lip to keep from crying, so much pride and excitement in her eyes. Usually she was standing by the side patio with open arms, the long driveway giving away our surprise. But if she was inside she would come dashing out and be there before we could step out of the car. It was a race to get to her first. She would lick her lips after every person and give each one the sloppiest wet kiss right on the lips. Yes, it was a little gross, but it was from Grandma and her welcome wouldn't be the same without it.
- Bacon! I'm not joking! I can't smell, hear the sizzle, or eat bacon without thinking of her. I can see her pulling each smooth piece off the uncooked, thickly sliced pile and transferring it to the iron skillet that sizzled with joy as it received each new piece. The smell of her kitchen at breakfast rousing even the hardest sleeper to come and enjoy the morning on the farm. Wishing me a good morning with a squeeze that no one can imitate, she wouldn't lose a beat in her morning routine. Nothing could compare to the perfection of breakfast with Grandpa and Grandma and no day ever started out better than that.
-Special. She had a way of making us feel special. Whether by buying our favorite cereal or sending gum and balloons from her bank through the mail or letting us pick out a treat on a trip to the grocery store, simple acts to show that we were special to her. I remember once that she asked what our favorite candy was and then brought the hugest bag of Jolly Ranchers to our house that I'd ever seen. They were all cherry flavored and wherever she had been storing them left the funniest floral taste on them. We ate them anyway...ALL of them, and I'm sure I had more than my fair share. She always sent us a dollar for our birthdays and continued the tradition on to my own children. I have a picture of each of them with the last dollar she ever sent a few years ago.
-Fun Vocabulary. She used cool words like yonder, folks, and kin. They were awesome! Really, what I wouldn't give to hear her tell me about someone I didn't know who lives "over yonder".
-Laughter. She had the best laugh. I loved hearing her tell stories or talk fondly about family and friends. She lit up the room with her laughter and joy.
-Kittens. She liked cats. Her favorite were the white ones. She had a lifelike statue of a white cat with blue eyes in her living room. It was the only kind she would let inside. She did make an exception for us once when we found a very sick little kitten that we tried to nurse back to health. It was black and white and she helped us feed it with a water dropper. It spent the night in the entry room where the coffee pot was. It survived the night but was gone before the next day. I also remember finding a set of three butterscotch striped kittens that we played with and made into her pets whether she wanted them or not. By the time we left at the end of the week, they were hers.
-Measurement. She had the most fantastic way of showing you how big something was by holding out her left index finger and using her other hand to compare the length of it to. I loved it when she did that.
-Chickens. She had the best chicken coop ever. It was musty and stinky and dark. I was seriously scared to go in there but really I loved it. Gathering eggs in there was such a treat. I loved the sound of the rooster crowing in the morning. It was so creepy and amazing to see Grandma wring the neck off one of the birds, see it run around the yard without its head, watch her pluck all the feathers off it and chop and fry it up...nothing ever tasted better than freshly murdered fried chicken on Grandma's farm.
-Home Remedies. Grandma used "Germ-trol" (basically pinesol) as a cure-all. If you had a cut or blister -germtrol, dog bite or knee scrape- germtrol, splinter from the barn...yep -germtrol. Once I did get a sunburn and she prescribed (not germtrol) but vinegar and brown paper. It worked. So did the germtrol usually. She also used fingernail polish on chigger bites. One time my sister had a wart and she took her to see a guy that gave her a quarter to buy her favorite candybar and then rub it on the wart after each bite. I think that worked too. I love home remedies because of her.
-Music. She loved music. She had a groovy organ and would play all kinds of hymns "by ear". She could also play the harmonica, which I didn't know until I was much older and she played it at our house. She was pretty good at it and the best part was that she had a blast doing it. She loved to sing and be sung to. My oldest daughter sang "Jesus Is All the World To Me" to her once when she was about four years old and you would have thought that it was the best gift she had ever received.
-Fancy. She loved to get dressed up and she put a lot of care into her appearance in a simple way. She loved her clip on earrings, pretty pins and necklaces and wearing fingernail polish, usually her favorite color red. Eventhough I am not a girly girl myself, I appreciated it about her.
-Church. She loved church. This might be the area of life I have the most in common with her. She felt at home at church and was there every time the doors were open. She sang in the choir, she taught Bible studies, she organized people, and she directed Vacation Bible School for more than her fair share of years. She was an amazing servant and didn't need the appreciation from people because she did it to please God and she loved doing it. I have a lot to live up to.
-Wonder. She knew how to be a life long learner. I don't think there was anything she wasn't willing to try. She was brave not foolish. I loved that, well into her later years, she went bowling for the first time and kayaking and too many other things to name, and she had so much fun doing it. She was excited about learning something new and had a child-like wonder that many never experience once they are grown. I loved that about her.
-Love. She knew how to love better than anyone I know. She knew how to put other people first. She loved babies, children, and elderly people. She loved her friends and cared for them well. She was always doing something kind for someone else. She wrote me letters and told me how proud she was of me. She loved her family. She loved my husband. She loved my children. She loved me.
-Memorable. Everyone knew her and she knew them all too. If you went anywhere with her she was constantly saying hello to someone she knew. She had a story about anyone you could ask her about. Even until her last days, she could tell you details about things and people that no one else remembered. She was respected and loved by many. Even the people who cared for her during her last days thought so highly of her.
-Faith. She was a faithful follower of Christ. I know that when she got to meet Him face to face He embraced her as His friend and bride. I know that she passed away on the eve of the day that we celebrate His birth so that there will be a constant reminder that they were linked for life. That her death is an extension of the life she lived that pointed others to Him. When she gave her life to Christ as a young person, she took it seriously and lived an honorable life that must have pleased Him to no end.
-Prayer. She knew how to pray. She prayed for people she knew and didn't know. She prayed for her friends and her family. I know that she prayed for me. I think I will miss that most of all.
My Grandma Short was amazing. She had more grace, and joy and devotion than anyone I have ever known. She will forever be someone I look up to and admire and will strive to emulate in many ways. I am thankful to have known her and will miss her for the rest of my days. I look forward to seeing her again someday in heaven. I'm sure she will greet me well and laugh with joy when we see each other again.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=547030551993310
When I think of her I think of:
-Welcome. As a little kid I can remember driving for days to get to her house. We would stop at different relatives' houses to sleep and visit, but the goal was to get to the farm. Occasionally, we would go into town first which only prolonged our wait. I am terrible about direction and to this day, couldn't find the place if I had to, but I could feel it inside me like butterflies. We would round a corner and pass by some familiar houses, groves of trees or farm equipment and there it would be. Waiting and looking just like last time. It had the longest gravel driveway imaginable that crunched under the weight of the car. I always wanted to jump out of the car and run the rest of the way, thinking I could somehow get there sooner, because the last few seconds were so hard. There she would be to welcome us, smiling through her tears of joy. I could see her bite her lip to keep from crying, so much pride and excitement in her eyes. Usually she was standing by the side patio with open arms, the long driveway giving away our surprise. But if she was inside she would come dashing out and be there before we could step out of the car. It was a race to get to her first. She would lick her lips after every person and give each one the sloppiest wet kiss right on the lips. Yes, it was a little gross, but it was from Grandma and her welcome wouldn't be the same without it.
- Bacon! I'm not joking! I can't smell, hear the sizzle, or eat bacon without thinking of her. I can see her pulling each smooth piece off the uncooked, thickly sliced pile and transferring it to the iron skillet that sizzled with joy as it received each new piece. The smell of her kitchen at breakfast rousing even the hardest sleeper to come and enjoy the morning on the farm. Wishing me a good morning with a squeeze that no one can imitate, she wouldn't lose a beat in her morning routine. Nothing could compare to the perfection of breakfast with Grandpa and Grandma and no day ever started out better than that.
-Special. She had a way of making us feel special. Whether by buying our favorite cereal or sending gum and balloons from her bank through the mail or letting us pick out a treat on a trip to the grocery store, simple acts to show that we were special to her. I remember once that she asked what our favorite candy was and then brought the hugest bag of Jolly Ranchers to our house that I'd ever seen. They were all cherry flavored and wherever she had been storing them left the funniest floral taste on them. We ate them anyway...ALL of them, and I'm sure I had more than my fair share. She always sent us a dollar for our birthdays and continued the tradition on to my own children. I have a picture of each of them with the last dollar she ever sent a few years ago.
-Fun Vocabulary. She used cool words like yonder, folks, and kin. They were awesome! Really, what I wouldn't give to hear her tell me about someone I didn't know who lives "over yonder".
-Laughter. She had the best laugh. I loved hearing her tell stories or talk fondly about family and friends. She lit up the room with her laughter and joy.
-Kittens. She liked cats. Her favorite were the white ones. She had a lifelike statue of a white cat with blue eyes in her living room. It was the only kind she would let inside. She did make an exception for us once when we found a very sick little kitten that we tried to nurse back to health. It was black and white and she helped us feed it with a water dropper. It spent the night in the entry room where the coffee pot was. It survived the night but was gone before the next day. I also remember finding a set of three butterscotch striped kittens that we played with and made into her pets whether she wanted them or not. By the time we left at the end of the week, they were hers.
-Measurement. She had the most fantastic way of showing you how big something was by holding out her left index finger and using her other hand to compare the length of it to. I loved it when she did that.
-Chickens. She had the best chicken coop ever. It was musty and stinky and dark. I was seriously scared to go in there but really I loved it. Gathering eggs in there was such a treat. I loved the sound of the rooster crowing in the morning. It was so creepy and amazing to see Grandma wring the neck off one of the birds, see it run around the yard without its head, watch her pluck all the feathers off it and chop and fry it up...nothing ever tasted better than freshly murdered fried chicken on Grandma's farm.
-Home Remedies. Grandma used "Germ-trol" (basically pinesol) as a cure-all. If you had a cut or blister -germtrol, dog bite or knee scrape- germtrol, splinter from the barn...yep -germtrol. Once I did get a sunburn and she prescribed (not germtrol) but vinegar and brown paper. It worked. So did the germtrol usually. She also used fingernail polish on chigger bites. One time my sister had a wart and she took her to see a guy that gave her a quarter to buy her favorite candybar and then rub it on the wart after each bite. I think that worked too. I love home remedies because of her.
-Music. She loved music. She had a groovy organ and would play all kinds of hymns "by ear". She could also play the harmonica, which I didn't know until I was much older and she played it at our house. She was pretty good at it and the best part was that she had a blast doing it. She loved to sing and be sung to. My oldest daughter sang "Jesus Is All the World To Me" to her once when she was about four years old and you would have thought that it was the best gift she had ever received.
-Fancy. She loved to get dressed up and she put a lot of care into her appearance in a simple way. She loved her clip on earrings, pretty pins and necklaces and wearing fingernail polish, usually her favorite color red. Eventhough I am not a girly girl myself, I appreciated it about her.
-Church. She loved church. This might be the area of life I have the most in common with her. She felt at home at church and was there every time the doors were open. She sang in the choir, she taught Bible studies, she organized people, and she directed Vacation Bible School for more than her fair share of years. She was an amazing servant and didn't need the appreciation from people because she did it to please God and she loved doing it. I have a lot to live up to.
-Wonder. She knew how to be a life long learner. I don't think there was anything she wasn't willing to try. She was brave not foolish. I loved that, well into her later years, she went bowling for the first time and kayaking and too many other things to name, and she had so much fun doing it. She was excited about learning something new and had a child-like wonder that many never experience once they are grown. I loved that about her.
-Love. She knew how to love better than anyone I know. She knew how to put other people first. She loved babies, children, and elderly people. She loved her friends and cared for them well. She was always doing something kind for someone else. She wrote me letters and told me how proud she was of me. She loved her family. She loved my husband. She loved my children. She loved me.
-Memorable. Everyone knew her and she knew them all too. If you went anywhere with her she was constantly saying hello to someone she knew. She had a story about anyone you could ask her about. Even until her last days, she could tell you details about things and people that no one else remembered. She was respected and loved by many. Even the people who cared for her during her last days thought so highly of her.
-Faith. She was a faithful follower of Christ. I know that when she got to meet Him face to face He embraced her as His friend and bride. I know that she passed away on the eve of the day that we celebrate His birth so that there will be a constant reminder that they were linked for life. That her death is an extension of the life she lived that pointed others to Him. When she gave her life to Christ as a young person, she took it seriously and lived an honorable life that must have pleased Him to no end.
-Prayer. She knew how to pray. She prayed for people she knew and didn't know. She prayed for her friends and her family. I know that she prayed for me. I think I will miss that most of all.
My Grandma Short was amazing. She had more grace, and joy and devotion than anyone I have ever known. She will forever be someone I look up to and admire and will strive to emulate in many ways. I am thankful to have known her and will miss her for the rest of my days. I look forward to seeing her again someday in heaven. I'm sure she will greet me well and laugh with joy when we see each other again.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=547030551993310
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