Ya know when you have a shoe that just fits perfectly, it's like putting on an old friend? What happens when that old friend doesn't really fit anymore and starts to rub you the wrong way?
Or, when you fall in love with a shoe and bring it home but it never really fits and you wear it for awhile anyway because you think you love it so much?
Or, how about when the left shoe fits but the right shoe really doesn't?
Or, when the shoe just never really was right for you in the first place and you gave it a shot because you thought it was the right thing to do?
I've worn all these shoes.
We took on a particular shoe at our house about seven years ago. It was before our third child was even born. This shoe included so much effort and time and energy etc... that it really took on a life of it's own and at many times I especially didn't know how to identify myself without it. It became a shoe that I wore out of habit and all kinds of expectations. I really wanted it to fit and there were many days when it fit beautifully. Some days were like ballet shoes and we'd glide across the floor as smooth as can be. There were many days when that bad boy gave me blisters. Even more days where it felt like the heaviest work boot you can imagine. Still others felt like we had put on the lightweight runners and we were in it for the long haul. Regardless, it was our shoe and we put it on day after day and wore it through all kinds of weather. We loved that shoe, we really did.
Like most shoes, our shoe has a name. At our house we simply call it "school", others label it "homeschool". Many people are wearing these shoes these days and they've become pretty common and for the most part accepted, even popular. At our house we've reached a point in life where we've outgrown ours (at least for now). Of course I'll keep it around, in the back of a closet (or taking up half our garage) for awhile, just in case we decide it fits again. But, I rather doubt that we'll be wearing it much anymore. At the beginning of the adventure of homeschooling, we said we'd take it one year at a time. At that time we had one in school and one in diapers and the last one but a hope. Each year we would evaluate what life looked like and see if the shoe still fit. A few years ago that shoe was looking pretty ragged. It was about the time our second child was starting first grade. We knew our life would be changing soon so we stuck it out for a few more years just to keep the continuity. At the beginning of last year, that shoe was so tight and tattered I just about threw it out but we decided it could last for just a little bit longer. It would have been difficult to start a year in one shoe only to move and begin again in another. I'll be honest and say that it was a chore to put that baby on day after day to finish out the year. It became an all out challenge for everyone just to make it to the end.
So we're trying on a new pair of shoes in about a month. These shoes are shiny and exciting. The younger members of the family can't wait to slip their feet into them even to the point of saying they wish it were coming up sooner. ("Hello, don't forget about summer!") I'm a little more cautious but also curious to find out how these new shoes fit. I have yet to choose the pair I'll be wearing while their feet dance and play at "real school". As it gets a little closer there are days when I feel like we should pull the old shoes out and at least give them a fair shot, that maybe it would be easier to stick with the ones we know. But the new ones are hanging there ready to be worn. It is time.
I know there are those out there who might say that we've given up or that we're doing the wrong thing. There are many more that are cheering us on as we put on our Sunday best. I guess my sentiment to anyone who may be tempted to disagree with our shoe choice is to please not judge us unless you've walked a mile in our shoes.
