Brave Mama!

It was a gorgeous spring day here in the Land of Enchantment.  So nice, that we couldn't let it go to waste and decided to go for a hike at the Tsankawi Ruins not far from our home.  In the 12+ years that we've lived here, we've never been on this particular hike so I didn't know what to expect.  I got the opportunity (for lack of a better word) to face a few of my fears when it comes to hiking with our children.  When they say cliff dwellings, you should expect that there are some cliffs involved, which means some trails that go along the edges of said cliffs. Although I have tried at times to overcome it, I am not a big fan of heights. Especially when people I care about are involved with high places.  Today, I only freaked out a little bit.  If you ask my seven year old son, I was a wreck the whole time but he's a little biased because he got the honor of walking with me.  I kept telling him to slow down even when he was doing his best to walk at a snail's pace.  Which for a boy his age is an unreasonable request!

The hike is a loop that goes up over a mesa and then along the cliffside.  There are a few ladders involved which pose their own challenges for the height-haters of the world.  At one point the littlest one was protesting the idea of moving forward and I was more than ready to turn back myself, not really thinking that the trail we had already traveled was that much better an option but at least it was familiar.  Isn't that just the way we work...wanting to take the route that we know, rather than facing the fear of taking the road less traveled.  But, we pressed on and in doing so, got to see some beautiful scenery, cliff dwellings and petroglyphs. We also got to feel the sense of accomplishment that we would not have experienced if we had turned around.  Actually what looked to me to be a daunting and uncomfortable task turned out to be a fantastic experience for us all.  I am glad we decided to take that trek today.

My Amazing Family

A little too close for my comfort!



Happy Hikers

Messy Parenting

Meet Sassy Frassy.  When she was born on September 12, 2007, I felt like our family was complete.  She was the sweetest, easiest baby with quick smiles for everyone (even the three year old brother who dubbed her "Chubby Lovey" and pinched her cheeks frequently until they had tiny blue bruises). Her big sister had finally gotten the wish she had been praying for for five years...a beautiful, perfect baby sister.  Everything about this child was easy.  A good little eater, reaching all of her milestones early or on time.  She was/is a quick learner and basically potty trained herself overnight. We would drag her to all kinds of sporting events and concerts and she would sleep through them or play quietly.  Just an easy-going, fun kid.  Her little baldish head was so enticing, even other people's daddies enjoyed rubbing it.  And, her giggle sounded just like a little billy goat.  She had her moments of course, but overall I was blessed with a precious easy baby girl!

But Parenting Is MESSY and no one is perfect.  When Sassy was about two years old I began to notice her eyes were not completely alligned. It showed up more commonly in pictures but I saw it sometimes, especially when she was tired.  I would ask other people if they noticed it and most said no or that it was common for little kids to cross their eyes.  Being the on-top-of-it mom that I am, I didn't get her in right away to check it out but said "we'll wait and see".  At her well check, months later, the pediatrician took one look at her and said she needed a referral to see a specialist.  Ouch!  A few weeks later we took her to see a Pediatric Opthamologist.  Without going into detail on how that visit went, I'll just say we were sent away feeling like WE had wasted HIS time (and then paid him nicely for it).  He said it was an optical illusion because the bridge of her nose was wide.  But he was the expert right? 

Fast forward five more months...almost every week, someone asked me if we had gotten Sassy in to see someone about her eyes.  Well-meaning strangers would comment on them (I know...that is always so fun having to tell myself to smile and walk away without any "mind-your-own-business" comments).  MESSY!  I would simply say we had seen an expert and he said it was an optical illusion...all the while believing in my mom-heart that I was probably relaying false information.  Finally, an adult friend who had trouble with a lazy eye asked me about it and prompted me to get her in to see someone again.  So I called the other specialist recommended to us by our doctor and he could see her in three more months.  More waiting.  By the time we finally got her in to see him, she was falling all the time, bumping into doorknobs and walls and coloring her pictures with her eyes two inches from the paper.  Still a pretty happy and easy-going kid, all of it barely phased her but I was so sad seeing her little bruised up noggin all the time.

 Her new doctor diagnosed her problem as Amblyopia within a few minutes of seeing her, and had us start patching her good eye for a few hours a day hoping to train her lazy eye and brain to start using it again.   Sassy took it all in stride and almost never complained about wearing her eye patch.  After two months of doing this with little result, her doctor decided glasses were her next step for healing.  She wore them all last summer and man she looked so cute in them!!! 

Then last July, a few months before her 4th birthday, her doctor said she would need to have eye surgery to correct the damage.  AAAAAHHHHHHHH!  That was my silent scream as he told me the news.  Of course on the outside, I'm nodding and pretending to hear what he said after that.  On the inside, I'm thinking "there has to be some other options out there."  And, there are.  So, I started researching Vision Therapy.  After a few months of prayer and deliberation over what to proceed with, we decided that surgery was in fact her best option.  It is such a hard choice to operate on your child, knowing that some blindness is a possibility either way.  How is that even fair?  MESSY.  In that time I had been playing phone tag with the surgery schedulers for many weeks.  By the time we finally connected, they had two dates available, October 18th or December 21st.  Not wanting to mess with Christmas, I took the first available...it was only two weeks away. SCARY!  I am not a fan of messing with people's eyes...too icky and risky...and then thinking about them doing that to my baby girl? Not fun, seriously MESSY!  At her pre-op appointment the following week, we had to sign papers that listed all the possible outcomes.  Really, we were looking at a 50/50 chance to save her vision and she would most likely still need to wear glasses to correct the vision anyway.  Jamie and I looked at each other and asked "why are we doing this?".  But with some fear and a lot of faith, we proceeded.  On October 18, 2011, we watched as the anesthesiologist carted our partially drugged baby girl off to an operating room, listening as she slurrily told him about our dog Annie.  I was so proud of her. 

This story could take many turns from here.  I am beyond thankful for the outcome that I get to share from here on out.  Her surgery lasted about 45 minutes.  I was almost surprised how fast it was, as her doctor came out to the waiting area to tell us how well it had gone and I breathed a tentative sigh of relief.  We were allowed back to help her as she woke up and it was hard to see her unable to open her eyes and fussing from discomfort, but it was done!  She did remarkably well  with recovery and again I was so proud of the way she dealt with her discomfort. 

It has been six months since she was operated on and I am so pleased to be able to write that as of yesterday's appointment Sassy Frassy is still doing incredibly well.  She has been back for several post-operative visits and each one has filled me with hope and thankfulness for her vision.  Right now, her eyes and brain have adjusted well to the change.  She does not have to wear glasses for correction and her doctor said at her three month appointment that most kids will revert back by six months post-op if they are going to.  I am blessed with a MESSY far-from-perfect four year old with good vision and I am very thankful!

Behold the Hands

"Even these may forget but I will not forget you.  Behold I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands."  Isaiah 49:15-16

After reading these verses a few years ago I wrote this poem.  I am thankful to have my name tatooed on God's hands today.  I thought it would be a good day to share this.

Behold the Hands
by Melissa Duke


Behold the hands of my newborn child
Pink and fragile
Gripping new life
Bringing joy


Behold the hands of my toddler son
Chubby, dimpled fingers
Holding on to steady his feet
Bringing wonder


Behold the hands of my young daughter
Covered in dirt and paint
Reaching for knowledge
Bringing creativity


Behold the hands of today's youth
Open and longing
Searching for answers
Bringing desire


Behold the hands of a bride and groom
Fingers entertwined
Hoping for happy endings
Bringing companionship


Behold the hands of a parent
Never idle
Striving for patience and compassion
Bringing sacrifice


Behold the hands of my mother
Strong yet gentle
Playing with my daughter's hair
Bringing comfort


Behold the hands of my Grandfather
Weathered and worn
Remembering days gone by
Bringing wisdom


Behold the hands of my Savior
Wounded and bleeding
Crying out to a lost world
Bringing life


Behold the hands of my Lord
Covered in the names of His children
Waiting with anticipation
Bringing hope


Behold the Hands



May God bless you this amazing Easter day as we remember His sacrifice for us.

Messy Craft...But "Super" Fun

After the SUPER start to our week, I think it ended perfectly.  This afternoon the kids and I dyed Easter eggs together.  Sassy Frassy(age 4) kept asking "why are we doing this?" Not that she wasn't enjoying herself, it's just not something she really remembers doing from last year and was having a hard time getting it...what does this really have to do with the meaning of Easter?  Nothing.  But, IT IS FUN!  I have to admit, I'm glad we only do this once a year...because It is also MESSY.  The kids love it though and it is so entertaining to watch them get into it, their eggs reflecting their individual personalities.  It is a project that everyone can have fun with because you're never too old to enjoy dyeing eggs!  At one point I was wishing that I had boiled more so that I could do a few, but then thought eventually they either have to be eaten or thrown out.  I hate wasting food.  So, we had plenty!!!


This year, we added both a glitter and chalk kit to the process, making the project last longer and the inevitable clean-up that much more MESSY.  All in the name of fun!  The glitter kit was a huge hit with all the kids. Although the youngest really enjoyed watercoloring her eggs after they had been dyed.  They have a bit of a Picasso feel to them!


Something that we have done for the past several years is tie-dyeing paper towels with the leftover dye.  The kids really love doing it.  First you have to fold the towels, accordian folds, or triangular (like the American flag fold) work well.  Then, you dip the edges into the different dye colors, squeezing out the excess before dipping in the next color.  I like to leave a bit of white between the colors.  But, it is also cool to see the colors mix in the middle.  When you are happy with the colors you've dipped it in, open it up like you do with a snowflake.  The finished product is always a surprise and no two are exactly alike.  The kids liked this as much as they did dyeing their eggs.  We hung them to dry on a clothes drying rack.  I'm not sure what we will do with them but they are a fun and colorful project to do with the extra dye before throwing it out. 

Upon reflection of our day I realized that this is the first year in a long time that everyone was allowed to keep all of their clothes on during the project.  Usually someone is shirtless!    Everyone is growing up.  I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm thrilled with the people they are becoming.

Poured Into

Today's post is one of thanksgiving just in time for Easter...an incredible day to give thanks for the sacrifice of our savior. I am personally very grateful for people who pour their gifts, talents and love into my children.  As a homeschool mom, you might think that I am not in favor of others having influence over my kids. On the contrary, I feel very fortunate to have people that give of their time to help my children (and others) find truth in their world and enrich their life experiences.  They may be the public librarian or a Sunday School teacher, each one giving a nugget of knowledge to my kids, sometimes in passing, others in a directed lesson that reaches them at their personal level.  I find it interesting that I can tell my kids something 100 times and what they will remember better is the time that so-n-so said the very same thing in a way that connected with them.  If you happen to be someone who has given, taught, cared for, loved on, disciplined, smiled at, or encouraged my three biggest blessings, it has not gone unnoticed.  You are a gift to me and to my children.  Thank you!

The Plunge

I would like to say today started like any other day. But, it did NOT! Thankfully most of my days do not begin with the hysteria that woke me from my slumber this morning. It went something like this:

"Oh no, no, NO!"

"What do we do?"

"My mom is going to be so mad!"

"It was an accident."

By this time I'm on my feet, flying into the hall, watching two wide eyed boys pointing toward the bathroom saying,

"Do something!"

"I think it's going to overflow."

"We accidently flushed SUPERMAN down the toilet!" "Get him back!"

This is not exciting news to someone who barely has their eyes open at 7:15 on a Monday morning. The toilet didn't overflow and after a few flushes appeared to be fine. I foolishly believed that Superman had passed on through the pipes. One should not assume things so willingly however, and within an hour the toilet was spilling forth with all sorts of unpleasantries! Sparing you the graphic nature of this scene, let me just say that you are glad you were not here.

I am so thankful for friends who will come to my rescue. I have two such people who did that for me today. First my friend Amy came to get her son and take my two other kids (she already had the oldest one for a sleepover swap). She was willing to keep them until the toilet fiasco was over. That is love! As soon as she left with them, I began to call plumbers. Who knew it was so difficult to get someone on the Monday of spring break in our little town?

  After talking to a few answering machines and a person who wouldn't be able to make it out until tomorrow, I called my husband for help. He suggested I call our friend and pastor, Paul, for advise. Paul, if you read this (and why would you want to relive the horror?), I want you to know that calling you was Jamie's idea. Now that I have thrown him into the potty water, I'll continue. Paul was graciously willing to come out and take a look. At noon, I ran a few errands and picked up a wax ring, in case the toilet needed to be pulled. Paul arrived with a helper, his snake and a few tools, and assessed the situation. Here is a partial transcript of the texts between Amy & myself as he worked:

Me: "Paul is pulling out my toilet. He needs a medal...I kind of wish the boys could be here to see what a super hero really looks like."

Amy: "I love it! Has he found the unfortunate Superman yet?"

Me: "He's wedged in there pretty nicely...The Incredibles lady was right... NO CAPES!"

Amy: " Ha! So can Paul tell that he's there?"

Me: "Yes. They are going to try flushing him out with the garden hose next. I may be buying a new toilet."

Amy: "What an ordeal. Although, those new low-flow toilets are really nice!"

I heard from the front yard "He's OUT!" So I went out to take a few pictures of course.

Amy(upon receiving the news and a few photos): " Who knew pastors had such extensive job descriptions?"

Indeed! If you are not fortunate enough to have a friend and pastor like Paul, take the plunge and GET TO CHURCH!

Today I learned that: Sometimes superheros(and plumbers) are pastors in disguise.

Today I was reminded that: Nothing compares to having great friends.

Today I was pleasantly surprised when: My sweet husband sent me flowers to improve my "crappy" day! What a guy!

And also: Isn't BLEACH an incredibly useful invention? Thank you BLEACH inventor, whoever you are.