Waiting is Hard

Because of the the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."  The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.      -Lamentations 3: 22-26

IN CASE YOU HADN'T HEARD
I have been thinking a lot about patience and faith lately.  Our family is in the middle of a very big transition in our lives.  After thirteen years of service here, in about six weeks, Jamie will no longer be working for First Baptist Church of Los Alamos.  At the beginning of January, we will officially be church planters.  Our "plan" is to move to Santa Fe as soon as our home sells and begin a new chapter in our ministry and in our family.  We continue to press forward with this plan and wait with anticipation for all that God is going to do in and through us there.  What an exciting time!  However, it still feels a little surreal.  There is no place like limboland.

LIFE GOES ON
One thing that is keeping me from really feeling like it is going to happen, is that our life here just goes on normally as we continue with all our usual activities.  The kids continue to participate in choir, sports, AWANA, and spend time with friends.  We've been talking about this next step for a loooooonnnnng time but it has yet to become a reality, so we live life as usual.  We are all just waiting for the new, the unknown, to come into our lives.  Waiting for a new life to begin is difficult and strange. 

WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE?
I  like to plan things out.  This is something that has been a huge test for me during this time.  There is nothing for me to plan.  Sure, I can plan what to put in the next box that I pack but I don't know what anything is going to be like when I unpack it.  I don't know where I am going to live or who my neighbors will be.  I don't really know what our lives are going to look like at all.  I don't even know when we will be hitting the road.  My best bet right now, is to take one day as it comes.  I'm working on resting in the fact that God knows my future so I don't really need to know until I need to know.  In the meantime, I will make dinner tonight,  we will see family for Thanksgiving, we will decorate for Christmas...while waiting for the next who, what, when and where.

FOR SALE
The biggest challenge so far has been waiting for our home to sell.  Keeping our house clean and ready to show is equally difficult!  For anyone who has ever been in this position with young children, I know that you know what I mean.  Unfortunately, the market is very slow.  Our home has been on it for about four months and we've only had a handful of showings.  I will be very glad to have the selling of our house behind us.  I will miss this house but I will be thrilled for it to belong to someone else.  While I wait, I have a safe, warm and comfortable place to sleep at night and for that I am very grateful.

NOT CONSUMED
I am reminded of another time when these verses first became a gift to me at another time of waiting and watching for God to work in my life.  More than nine years ago,  we were hoping and trying for a second child.  We waited a long time.  I finally became pregnant in July of 2003.  We were ecstatic to find out that we would be welcoming another baby into our family in April of the following year.  Unfortunately, I lost that child.  Within a few weeks of having great joy, I entered a time of devastating sorrow.  It was probably the hardest testing of my faith that I have ever endured.  Through searching for comfort, God directed me to this passage of scripture.  Waiting was hard.  But, I survived that wait and our son was born in September of 2004.  God kept his promise and I was not consumed. 

WORTH THE WAIT
Going through difficult times like that one have helped remind me of God's faithfulness.  While this time of waiting does not compare to the very sad time that I went through several years ago, waiting is still hard.  I know that God has a plan, it may not look like the one I keep trying to form in my mind.  It may be very different than what I would like to happen.  But, I know that He will continue to be my portion.  I can trust that His word is true.  He will provide all our needs.  I will wait for Him and I know it will be worth the wait.