Friday was much harder on me than I expected it to be, as I escorted our third born and final child to kindergarten. I've only done this one other time with our firstborn eight years ago and I don't remember it being quite so sad. I had a rough time both times letting my kiddos go into the unknown world of school. It may have something to do with a few of the reasons we chose to homeschool for the past seven years in the first place. I never really got used to not having her around during the day. Dropping my son off for third grade wasn't quite so tough. I never had to leave him as a fledgling five year old and hope for the best. I have no doubt it would have torn at my heart just the same as it did for the girls. I think having other little children crying for their parents did not make it any easier on me. My little girl and most of her classmates sat quietly waiting for this thing called SCHOOL to begin while a few others struggled to hang in there. I held back the tears until I reached the hall. My girl was fine and I was a blubbering mess. I really couldn't reach my car fast enough. The first day of Kindergarten is tough...for the moms!
So we're off. Yet another unknown thrown into motion in this wild adventure here in Santa Fe. It is exciting and frightening but I feel a lot of relief knowing that all of my children are in safe places where they are going to learn as much about themselves and how to overcome obstacles as they are about the subjects they study in school. I have no doubt that they will make poor choices and learn from them, that they will have their hearts broken by someone they call a friend, that they will see and probably do things that I would not approve of. It will not be easy to watch and experience, but nothing about parenting is easy. I also know that they are wise and thoughtful and amazing people. They will be able to practice compassion and kindness and will hopefully gain far more than they will lose. We've done the best we could do to prepare them and now that it is here, I know they will do well.
I've worked myself out of a job...
It does feel strange to know that like all the mothers before me, I've worked myself out of at least part of my job. Yes I still will be cooking AND cleaning AND shopping AND doing laundry AND dropping off AND picking up AND helping with homework AND shuttling here and there. But despite all the ANDs, with no more small children at home, part of my job is complete. It brings both a feeling of accomplishment and sadness as I watch my capable kids head off into a part of their life that I will only know about through their stories and recollections and hopefully not too many notes from the teacher. I will get to be part of a fraction of their day instead of the whole. It will be an adjustment for sure but one that I welcome whole heartedly (ok, maybe at least with most of my heart!).
Here are the obligatory and AWESOME back to school photos from our first days of school this year:
No comments:
Post a Comment